'But I Wasn't Looking For A Relationship With You'

I cannot tell you how SICK I am of hearing that...

I cannot tell you how SICK I am of hearing that...

“I made it very clear I didn’t want a relationship, I don’t know why you’re so surprised?!” 

Oh, did you?? This must be a new thing: You play all the roles of a boyfriend but you’re not one and don’t ever plan to be one?     

We can talk every day, go on dates, be affectionate, but how dare you say I ever wanted to be YOUR BOYFRIEND?!?!

Well, if you’re playing this whole “casual dating” game, you should NOT do these eight things: 

1. Do NOT text me every single day.

Don’t talk to me everyday if you don’t want an emotional connection. It’s as simple as that. I’m human, I have feelings. If talking to you becomes apart of my daily routine, it just makes it worse when you suddenly leave.

2. Don’t do cute things for me that you’d do for a girlfriend.

Don’t do relationship-like things with a person if you don’t want a relationship with them. Of course, all girls love flowers and surprises. But I don’t want them from you if you know you’re going to be gone a few weeks down the road. Save your money. 

3. Absolutely do not ask to meet my family.

My family is my world. It is a privilege to meet them. Save me the trouble of having to explain later “oh, he’s just another douche bag. Sorry, Mom and Dad.” Also, why would you want to go through the stress of meeting the parents anyways if you don’t plan on being around?

4. Don’t you dare try and tell me what to do.

If we’re not officially together, neither of us have the right to be jealous. If you’re not willing to make a commitment to me, someone else out there will. So you’re not going to hold me back from finding that person. 

5. Don’t expect to get me in the bedroom.

You can’t have your cake and eat it, too. If you devote yourself to me, I will 100 percent give my all to you. ― in every aspect of my life. But you’re not going to get any of me, until that is made very, very clear.

6. Please God, don’t say the words “but I still care about you.” 

No, no you don’t. If you cared about me, you wouldn’t have done this to me in the first place. “I just don’t want to hurt you” Oh, please make it stop. I am perfectly fine without you, don’t make your head explode, buddy.

7. Don’t waste my precious time.

I’m a busy girl. I work two jobs and I also maintain a social life. I adore my friends and family, and I want as much time with them as I can. You should be honored I’m spending my “free time” with you. Because if you’re not around, don’t think I’ll be sitting around lonely. I have plenty of people in my life who are worthy and appreciative of my time. 

Last but certainly not least…. 

8. Just be honest with me from the start.

ALL of this wouldn’t even be an issue if everyone was clear with their intentions from the start. If you like me, tell me. If you don’t, tell me and get out. I love and respect myself enough to not tolerate to have halfway people in my life. 

In the end, I’m not afraid of being alone. I’m more afraid of this pattern happening every time I try and have a relationship with a guy. Every second the wrong guy spends with me, is a second taken away from the right guy. I’ll happily date myself until I find a man worthy of my time. I’m strong enough to let go, and wise enough to wait for what I deserve. 

So, don’t chase someone just to let them go. Stop being a boy and become a MAN. Express your feelings, the good and the bad. Take a chance, don’t run away just because she’s a good girl and that scares you. It’s time to put a stop to this bizarre 2016 way of dating. I, for one, am done with it. 

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