Bye-Bye 2008: Things I Want to Forget

I'd like to forget... That Eliot Spitzer likes things "you might not think are safe." That Dick Cheney still doesn't believe waterboarding is torture. The tingle going up Chris Matthew's leg. Joe the Plumber...and so much more.
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2008 was a very memorable year, featuring one of the most unforgettable presidential campaigns in history.

But with the New Year quickly approaching, and the Bush Years coming to an end, I'd like to take a moment to focus on the things that happened over the last twelve months that I'd love to forget. Here is my list:

That Eliot Spitzer was "Client #9." That Eliot Spitzer likes things "you might not think are safe." The look on Silda Spitzer's face.

That Dick Cheney still doesn't believe waterboarding is torture.

The thrill going up Chris Matthew's leg.

Ashley Todd, the young college Republican who claimed an Obama supporter had carved a backwards "B" into her cheek. And I would particularly like to forget that so many in the media gave so much play to Ashley's tale.

Sarah Palin's belief that there is a "real America" and "pro-America areas" of America.

The Palin Catch-Phrase Collection: "Palling around with terrorists," "Team of Mavericks," "Just a hockey mom," "I put it on eBay," "Thanks, but no thanks," "You betcha."

That George Bush blames the economic meltdown on the fact that "Wall Street got drunk," but never admits it was his administration that made the last eight years Happy Hour, and kept serving up the drinks.

That Alan Greenspan was "shocked" to realize the free market was fallible.

The $440,000 spa trip taken by AIG "top performers" a week after the company received an $85 billion bailout from taxpayers.

That Nobel Prize-winning economist Joseph Stiglitz estimated that, even using "conservative assumptions," the Iraq war will cost at least $3 trillion, and likely as much as $5 trillion.

That China felt compelled to have a nine-year-old girl lip-synch "Ode to the Motherland" during the Olympic Opening Ceremonies because the seven-year-old girl who had actually sang the song wasn't considered cute enough.

Michael Phelps' caloric intake.

That John McCain claimed "the fundamentals of our economy are strong" on the same day Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy and Merrill Lynch was sold to Bank of America.

McCain's inability to say how many houses he and Cindy own.

Phil Gramm's assessment that America has "become a nation of whiners," and that the economic downturn was mostly "a mental recession."

OJ's rambling plea for leniency.

What happened in the basement of Josef Fritzl's house in Amstetten, Austria.

What happened in Orlando to Caylee Anthony.

Thomas Beatie, The Pregnant Man. That Thomas Beatie is preggers again.

That Jesse Jackson wanted to "cut" Obama's "nuts off."

That Fox's E.D. Hill dubbed the Obamas playful fist bump a "terrorist fist jab." That Fox News called Michelle "Obama's Baby Mama."

The soft-shoe Bush did while waiting to give McCain his endorsement.

The sight of that turkey being slaughtered in the background as Sarah Palin was interviewed.

The amount of press Bigfoot hoaxers Rick Dyer and Matt Whitton received.

The dust-up over Miley Cyrus's "topless photos" for Vanity Fair that were nothing of the kind.

Sarah Palin's $150,000 wardrobe. Cindy McCain's $300,000 convention outfit.

Cindy McCain's purloined "family recipes."

Ted Stevens's Viking gas grill.

McCain's refusal to join the 75 Senators who voted for the new GI Bill -- or even show up for the vote. McCain's accusation that "Obama would rather lose a war in order to win a political campaign." McCain's outlandish claim that ACORN was "destroying the fabric of democracy."

That the video of Hillary welling up in New Hampshire was analyzed more closely than the Zapruder film, with the media parsing each quiver of her lip with Talmudic intensity.

That Bill Clinton accused Obama of having "played the race card on me," then denied saying it just a few hours later -- even though he'd said it on the radio.

That James Carville compared Bill Richardson to Judas for endorsing Obama.

That Rudy Giuliani spent close to $50 million to capture a single delegate (the worst delegate bang for the buck in the history of presidential politics).

That the GOP hierarchy failed to censure Rep. Steve King after he claimed that "the optics" of a Barack Obama presidency would encourage "the radical Islamists" -- and that al-Qaeda "would be dancing in the streets" if Obama was elected.

That flag pins were equated with patriotism.

That Scott McClellan joined the parade of key Bush administration officials who have tried to wash the blood off their hands -- and add a chunk of change to their bank account -- by writing a come-clean book years after the fact instead of when it actually could have made a difference.

The Movie Multiplex from Hell: The Love Guru, Speed Racer, 88 Minutes, Drillbit Taylor, The Hottie and the Nottie.

Joe the Plumber, Ashley Dupré, William Ayers, Levi Johnston, Tricia Walsh-Smith.

The Bridge to Nowhere.

"Lipstick on a pig."

All right, HuffPosters, now it's your turn. Let us know what things from 2008 you'd like to forget by entering them in the comments section below. We'll gather up your most unforgettable Things to Forget and feature them on New Year's Day so we can collectively start 2009 off with a clean slate.

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