Cads, Knaves, and Narcissists: A Brief Typological Overview

Cads, Knaves, and Narcissists: A Brief Typological Overview
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  1. Alpha Boii: Talks a lot about the virtues of traditional masculinity, and orders bud light in a booming timbre. Lives with parents.
  2. Bad Boii: Frequently makes jokes about what an a**hole he is. Points out that you can’t ever be mad at him, because he warned you about this up front.
  3. Co-working Boii: Hooks up with you because you work together. Tells you the two of you can’t keep doing this- because you work together.
  4. Creative Boii: Wants you to send you some things he’s been working on. You never hear from him again.
  5. Crazy Boii: Has myriad mental health obstacles but refuses to see a therapist. YOU’RE supposed to be his support system: remember?
  6. Dough Boii: Despises women for preferring jerks who are better looking than him. Acts even jerkier to make a point.
  7. Evangelist Boii: Loathes you for tempting him into sin. Could never respect a woman whose standards are low enough to include him.
  8. Fiancee Boii: Madly in love with you, and accepts you totally- except for that part where you demand autonomy, monogamy, and respect. Those things he’d like to change.
  9. Funny Boii: Uses goofy humor to make you think he’s safe and respectful. He is not.
  10. Frat Boii: Often points out that his frat brothers are waaaaaaaaaay worse to women than he is.
  11. Friend zone Boii: Doesn’t want to officially date because it would ruin the friendship. Ruins the friendship by hooking up with your roommate.
  12. Ghost Boii: Feels inordinately clever and strategic over his ability to not respond to text messages.
  13. Namaste Boii: Finds he’s transcended the need to treat women well since he started meditating- though he’d be happy to tell you more about his yoga practice.
  14. Married Boii: Thinks he’d be passionately in love with you if he weren’t already married. Is passionately in love with you BECAUSE he’s already married.
  15. Older Boii: Dates only significantly younger women. Frequently reminds them how immature they’re being.
  16. Rich Boii: Thinks money is better than respect, anyway. Gives you lots of the former but not the latter.
  17. Social Justice Boii: Has memorized upwards of thirty buzzwords related to intersectional feminism. Still hates women.
  18. Soulja Boii: Has been through war or jail or similar. Talks a lot about wanting a “ride-or-die”. Actually wants drive-by, or similar.
  19. Toy Boii: Smugly tells bros he’s using her for her body. Doesn’t realize reverse is actually true.
  20. Trump supporter Boii: Arguably the most honestly advertised on this entire list.

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