We were out the other night when we heard a guy say to his buddy, "You can't trust a girl who doesn't have any girlfriends." This is a saying we hear from time to time (though usually not from a college dude who just threw back three Jaeger shots) and normally dismiss without giving it much thought. But this time, we got to thinking -- is it true? Are girls who roll six deep inherently more trustworthy than solo gals? Is this society's way of condemning a woman who's out there in the world by herself or is there more to it than that?
Ultimately, we think that guy was onto something, but he didn't get it exactly right. Women who say things like, "I just get along better with guys" or, "Girls are too catty and jealous" usually have their own issues that prevent them from getting along with other women. Indeed, having no friends is a giant red flag, but it doesn't mean this girl can't be trusted -- it simply means that she's too LSE (Low Self Esteem) to open up to and trust other women. Unfortunately, the girl who accuses other women of being catty and jealous is often exactly that herself.
We're the first to admit that it can sometimes be easier to get along with guys than girls. Guys are simpler, more straightforward. It can be liberating to let your hair down with your guy friends and have some video gaming, football loving fun. But the complexities of women is what makes them confusing, (at times) frustrating, and also the best, most trustworthy, loyal friends on the planet. Missing out on female friendships is like missing out on true love, and if you've never had an honest, loving, fun, ridiculous best friendship, you don't know what you're missing.
Girlfriends have a special kind of relationship. When we're with our girlfriends, our greatest fears, our secret dreams, our choices, and our mistakes are validated. We are validated. But our girlfriends do more than just tell us it's okay if we slept with a guy too soon or screamed at our daughter just because we were PMS-ing. Good girlfriends challenge us just as they legitimize us. They call bullshit on our bullshit when we need it and let it go when it's just not productive. Female friendships are so powerful that they often leave us transformed. We're our best selves when we're together and we take that piece of us with us wherever we go. That special bond between two women who are best friends is miraculous, spiritual, and transformative. You can see it from afar and feel it from across the room, much like you can sense the special energy of two lovers. It's divine. And it should be celebrated.
In our reality TV, tabloid-obsessed society there is far too much focus on negativity between women. With each new episode of The Real Housewives of wherethefuckever and The Bachelor, and heaven forbid, The Bachelor Pad, we watch groups of ruthless women compete over screen time, men, or whatever, and it sends a message that women should view each other strictly as competitors. And sadly, even those women who view these shows as guilty pleasures find these messages of negativity between women infiltrating bit by bit.
This is our call to start celebrating the beautiful friendships between women rather than the empty competition that's been forced upon us. In our books, we define a Hot Chick as a confident, empowered, passionate woman, and that means having a passion for your friendships as well as your families, careers, and intimate relationships. So every one of you who's nodding your head in agreement right now -- take a moment to call up your best friends and plan your next girls' night. And anyone who's shaking her head and poo pooing the idea of girlfriends, try opening your heart to a friendship that might make you love your life just a little bit more. It's time to Lean In to our friendships and create a sisterhood of Hot Chicks who support, embrace, and empower each other. Let's start now.