I talk to women every day who are frustrated - they know they're capable of more in their career but they're going nowhere fast. They are stuck..and with that comes the frustration, boredom & grief that accompanies lost potential!
There's a brilliant analogy by Rebecca Shambaugh;
"It's not a glass ceiling, it's a sticky floor".
If you feel you might be afflicted with the "sticky floor" syndrome and effectively want to fix it, here are 3 steps to get you confidently moving in the right direction NOW!
Step 1. Listen to yourself
Many women are incredibly skilled at playing-down their work & level of expertise in the company. This, of course, leads to a perception that their contribution is not really important and if they don't value their own work or talent, then quite frankly, why should anyone else?
Listen to your language and how you talk about yourself.
The self deprecating talk might satisfy your need to be humble (your inner Cinderella!) but it's doing your career a complete disservice.
Confidence is not arrogance.
It is about telling it like it is - the contribution you make and the value you add.
Quell the need to over- explain your successes and ACCEPT THE COMPLIMENT when they come your way.
The more you do this, the more it becomes a habit, the more you build your brand as someone who is confident in themselves, their talent and their work.
Step 2. Focus on you Strengths
We beat ourselves up because we think we're no good at ... reporting, speaking up at meetings, writing good emails yet in our obsession with self flagellation, we forget that there's a whole other plethora of things that we do amazingly well.
Write out a list of your achievements, strengths & talents.
Remind yourself regularly that this is WHO YOU ARE.
Define yourself by your talents and strengths rather than the areas you feel you struggle with.
By all means, find solutions for those niggling areas to improve on (courses, resources within the company, coaching) but please don't allow your areas of development to consume all the good stuff.
Change comes when you really consider the level of the people doing the job already and recognise you’re probably not as far away from it as you thought.
You'll start to see that you have strengths, that would add value & could actually do a great job at that level…if you could just overcome your fear of failure.
In order to overcome fear of failure, you'll need to embrace the vulnerability that comes with getting out of your comfort zone and trying something new - because that's where the magic happens!
Quite simply, progress in your career starts when you invest in your confidence.
Confidence happens when you believe in yourself, when you don't take no for an answer. It's when you come to a closed door & you look for the way through it, around it, over it, or simply walk away and find a new door.
Confidence is about knowing that you are GOOD ENOUGH.
Progressing in your career involves learning, growing, developing and none of this is possible if you don’t believe in yourself or your ability to do all of these things.
We learn by doing. How can you do it if you never put yourself in the position to do it?
Step 3. Tell People What You Want!
You’d imagine that people get paid (in either business or career) for what they do, however, often, the pay is more related to how confidently you talk about what you do and the contribution you make.
Why do you think the gender pay gap is still a burning issue in 2017?
I'm not suggesting that the only reason women aren't paid more is because they don't ask. However I am suggesting that it is a good start...and unfortunately many women don't have the confidence to take this first step.
How many men do you know who would be afraid to ask for a pay rise? (No disrespect to men here - they've got it spot on, we're the ones who need to catch up!)
So make a note to yourself:
Speaking in a self deprecating “Ah its nothing really” kind of way leads to people taking you for granted - managers, colleagues, clients.
When, on the other hand, you speak confidently about the quality of your work and its importance in the overall scheme of things, you take the first step towards creating the kind of perception needed when you want to ask for a pay rise or contract.
“You don’t ask, you don’t get!”
If we believe we're worth it and that our contribution is valuable, then we’re are communicating that very message to those we ask. We believe in ourselves and we’re telling them to believe in us too.
In a nutshell:
Listen to yourself- use language that works WITH you and your plans for progress (not against)
Focus on your strengths - Be grateful for them & use them as effectively as you can
Tell people what you want - People are not mind readers and if you have been lacking in steps 1 & 2, there could be a flawed perception that you're just not that "into" progressing your career.
If you have been the proverbial Career-Cinderella, content to sit in the ashes, then now is the time to access that inner confidence and rise!
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With Confidence, Anything is Possible!
Sharon