What if it was possible to use your sexual energy not just for great sex, but to fuel other parts of your life like your career, fertility or even crafty activities such as painting or cooking? It's all about harnessing the power of your pelvis, and then unleashing that energy right where you want it.
And don't worry, you can also unleash the power of your pelvis to also maintain sexual ecstasy in your life. Our pelvis is the best renewable energy source around, and totally organic.
As a sex educator that specializes in the needs of women, I teach women this work on a daily basis and it changes their lives. And it's really not hard. It's just about changing your point of view about sexual energy and how to connect with it.
First, you have to make contact and open the communication lines from your brain to your pelvis. Your pelvis is a bony structure that can be visualized as a bowl. The Taoists call this area the "Cauldron of Desire," because they recognize that this is where generative energy is collected, refined, and stored. Your pelvis is the most potent generator of energy in your entire body, and the practice is to learn how to move that energy up through your body and literally release it out into the universe. I know it sounds a bit "New Age," but it is actually a very old tradition. The Taoists call life-force energy Chi (Qi) and charted its movement through the body. Indian yoga adepts call it Prana and used it for healing. In the West, Dr. Wilhelm Reich discovered the same energy and called it Orgone energy. Dr. Reich felt this creative energy was the basis of life and could sometimes be seen in the air as blue or white balls of energy. The Chinese, Hindus, and Dr. Reich all taught their students the benefits of arousing this energy and moving it throughout the spine and brain.
It's all about powering up your intentions with your own life energy that you are able to stoke and fire whenever you want.
When I spent time at the Chopra Center, I also learned that this area is also where an energetic chakra called the "second chakra" is held. It runs from your pubic bone to your belly button on both men and women. The second chakra holds our fertility, sexuality and our creativity. Can you think of many things more powerful than that in the human experience? Don't you want to know how to activate it? How to harness the potentiality of the pelvis and unleash its energy so that it is able to support so many unexpected areas of our lives?
Let me encourage you to expand your thinking. Fertility is about making babies, but it is also about creation in a broader sense. Remember creativity is held in the second chakra. So if you can harness and build the fire in your "Cauldron of Desire" using sexual energy, you can take this energy out into the world in so many creative ways such as gardening or even starting a new business or venture. It's not just about orgasm, even though sexual arousal, orgasms and climaxes are wonderful things!
Whether your purpose is better sex, intimacy or changing the world, the sexual cosmic connection hunt has been on for hundreds of years. So let's break down the path to building the fire in the cauldron and activating the second chakra so that you have energy to channel and unleash. The rest is the practice of regulating that energy, and moving it up through your body and into your intentions.
The building blocks for learning how to unleash the power of your pelvis is really about taking apart the components of sexual pleasure. It's by taking it apart and learning its essential components that we can truly understand how it all works. Remember whether it is stoking the fire of your pelvis to generate energy or sexual desire, this is something that you are completely in control of. You can turn it on or off. I often tell people that they don't have to be in the mood for sex. Sometimes, it is just about showing up and doing it. It's the same for unleashing the power of your pelvis and using its fire to power through your day.
Four Building Blocks For Getting Your Cauldron of Desire to Bubble
1. It all starts in the mind. Do you even remember that you have arms and legs during a mind-blowing orgasm? Of course you don't. You don't remember that you have arms and legs during a meditation either.
Our sexual engines, and the fire building in our pelvis, starts in the mind with thought. Where are you placing your attention? If you are charging your pelvis during lovemaking, are you thinking about making love or something else, like what your boss said to you at that meeting? How many times does your mind drift during meditation? That is why we mediate with mantras -- to keep our mind as clear from clutter as possible. It is the same thing with building the sexual fires. Keep your mind as focused as you can on receiving or giving sexual pleasure. When your mind wanders, gently bring it back, just like you would if you were meditating.
2. Breath is essential. Once again, just like in meditation, the quality of your sexual experience could be linked to whether you are breathing enough. Sex educators love to talk about the "Quiet and Quick" rule. This is something that most of us learned as young people when we discovered that our genitals gave us pleasure. We learned to be quiet and quick in order not to be heard and not to be discovered. Unfortunately, for many people these sexual habits remain with us for the rest of our lives. If you want to have mind-blowing sex or have a big powerful fire in your pelvis to funnel into the rest of your life, you need to breathe. If you breathe a little bit, you have smaller orgasms and less creative energy and fertility. If you can learn to open your lungs and breathe in a lot of oxygen, your potential of more pleasure, heightened fertility, and more creativity grows.
3. Make Noise. Let's go back to the "Quiet and Quick" rule that so many of us learned living in our parents' house. We learned if we wanted to self-pleasure (masturbate), we needed to be quiet. No one wants our parents or siblings to walk in on us. Once again, many of us have kept that rule into our adult lives. We don't want to be heard. Maybe it is no longer parents that we are concerned about -- perhaps now it is children or neighbors. So keep a soft pillow nearby and make noise into that if you are worried about bringing the house down. But open up that throat if you want to unleash the power of your pelvis and really activate your Second Chakra. Making noise and breathing are keys to heating up your cauldron.
4. Learn to move. Shake it up! In the world of Tantra they often teach us to move like a wave or a dolphin. If you like, you could stand up and practice that. But the technique is not important at all -- the point is that stillness is not always your friend when you are looking for sexual bliss. Think of making love as a dance. You need to move your hips!
If you feel like you need more fire in your life, more creativity, fertility, and sexual pleasure, think about these steps to ramp up and fuel your intentions. We carry around with us every day an incredible engine of potentiality right in our own bodies. It's just that most of us think only of sexual energy as the power to orgasm. I want to encourage you to harness that power, and use it to ramp up the fire in all of your other creative aspects of your life as well. When you build the fire in your pelvis (feeling of sexual arousal) you do not have to release it into orgasm, instead experiment with unleashing that energy into other aspects of your life as well. You can paint that energy green and dust it with sprinkles. Own it and make it yours.
Putting It All Together: One Solo Exercise
Start by putting your tongue flat on the roof of your mouth.
It is necessary to be physically moving to get into the flow of life-force energy. Begin by sitting on the edge of a strong chair with your spine straight and head erect. Place your feet together and pull them back until they are directly below your spine. Raise your heels so your feet are resting on your toes, and begin bouncing your feet up and down, keeping your toes on the floor. Let your arms hang straight down the sides of your body, open your fingers, and gently shake your arms and hands. This posture allows life-force energy to flow in your body.
Imagine in your mind a perfect sexual fantasy that will begin to activate the creativity in your second chakra. If imagining a sexual memory or fantasy is uncomfortable for you, think about a fabulous connection you had in the past such as climbing a mountain. Think about something that will raise your life force energy. In this meditation, you will cease to use sexual energy for pleasure or directly for baby making and will use it to activate your spiritual potential, your career, or any life desire where you need fuel.
As you let yourself go into bliss with your body and mind, allow your feet to move. Be aware of the creative energy accumulating at the base of your spine. Do this for five to 10 minutes.
As the life-force energy in your second chakra begins to move, use your intention to move it up your spine. It will feel warm as it begins to rise. Still centered in your pelvis and loving yourself, call the collective consciousness of the planet into your pelvis as quickly as possible and then release it. What you should feel next is a quiet oneness, with no separation from anything. Let go and move into the experience. Practice this a few times before moving on to the next step.
Once the creative energy is activated and starts to move up the spine, tilt your head back about 30 degrees and then move the head forward to its level starting position, then back, then forward, then back, repeating the movement over and over. Be careful not to strain your neck. Be gentle.
With each set of back-front head movements, use your intention to push the rising energy back down the spine. This simple movement "pumps" the energy, multiplying its power. The energy will move up faster each time you do this. Repeat this movement about 25 times until the life-force energy becomes so powerful that it surges up the spine to your brain.
The compressed, intensified energy will move through your brain, and as the energy sparks the pineal gland, you will become the sun. Allow this warmth to fill your head.
When I do this meditation, I feel my entire brain ignite. Staying in the moment, I am able to feel all of my life-force move. I am able to feel an inner light and connect to what many people call "Source Energy." In this place, I feel connected to all things, warm all over, full-bodied, peaceful, and at the center of creation. It is often where I can put my intentions for the day, and when I combine with my morning meditation, anything is possible!
Go ahead, tap into your pelvis and see what energy you start moving in your life.
Pamela Madsen runs retreats around the world to help women re-connect to their bodies and sensuous nature (Back to The Body: Sensuous Retreat For Women) and is author of the book; "Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner" (Rodale 2011).