I have always been determined to make money and be rich. If I am to have money, I am going to make it through my own hard work and perseverance and maybe play the lottery. I worked my way through college. I didn’t work because I had to pay for college, my parents were gracious enough to foot the bill. I worked because I had dreams of having a professional career and I wanted future employers to see my drive and dedication. Marrying into the military changed my professional course, turning it upside down. With nearly as many moves as years being married (14 years) my dream of pursuing a profession and becoming rich kept getting further and further away.
Chasing money and validation is a dangerous combination because it leads you away from what is important. Validation is being recognized because your ideas and hard work have meaning and worth. It’s important to feel validated and validate others at home, at work and in your community. Spending years of unemployment due to the constant moving can wreak havoc on a sense of validity. After years, of struggling to find a job I was working for a company where I landed a nearly $2B deal promising more money in commissions than I could imagine. It was through my hard work the deal came to light. However, the work environment was toxic with scare tactics, gas-lighting, harassment and manipulation, just to name a few. I believed if I could earn this commission, debts would be paid off, our kids would be taken care of and my husband and I wouldn’t have to worry about finances. In addition, if I earned this commission then I had the validity I sought. I didn’t realize how warped this thought process was until I left.
Validation Through Charity – Worth its Weight in Gold
I have spent my entire life enterprising. It’s an inherent part of my personality. I am constantly trying to resolve, fix or invent new ways to make systems or processes run smoother. Whether these solutions are created on my computer or in my community I am constantly working to overcome obstacles.
90% of Military spouses are unemployed or underemployed. We simply move too much. To resolve this, I founded a 501(c)(3) non-profit called America’s Career Force, Inc which is dedicated to helping resolve military spouse unemployment and underemployment through remote, portable careers. Military spouses are like me, dedicated to having a professional career but due to our transient military lifestyle, having a traditional career is largely impossible. We promote the concept that military spouses can continue to work for companies just work remotely. It provides longevity for the company, and professional opportunity and financial stability for military spouses and families. Not all jobs are suitable for remote but there is at least one job in every company that can be done remotely. I don’t get paid to do what I am doing because all the services America’s Career Force provides to companies and military spouses are 100% free. Our goal is to get military spouses hired and keep military families together.
The hard work put forth through America’s Career Force will benefit military spouses for generations to come and military spouses and military families understand this. Consequently, my team and I receive daily emails from military spouses around the world saying, “thank you” for what we are doing to connect them to companies that offer remote jobs. Never in my professional life have I felt more pride and validation and I’m not earning a dime.
External validation is powerful and should not be dismissed lightly. You must surround yourself with individuals who appreciate and value you. Dealing with those who don’t just for the money isn’t worth it. Life is simply too short. Regardless of the path you choose knowing and understanding what truly motivates you is the key to achieving your professional and personal goals. I have realized validation is vital and through my advocacy voices won’t go unheard.
Just because I left the commission on the table, my dream of having a convertible Bentley is not. Through ideas and platforms yet to be launched my Bentley is still attainable. I will continue to advocate on behalf of others because being validated is worth its weight in gold.
Believe in yourself. Believe in the power of validation. Believe in achieving your DREAMS.