Getting through divorce is never easy, no matter what the circumstances. If your energy is drained and you feel as though you're stuck, here are 25 sure-fire ways you can cheer yourself up and boost your energy while going through a divorce.
1.) Decide ( and Commit) to Recover From Your Divorce:
If you make a conscious choice to let go of the pain of your divorce, to heal your heart and move forward, and to take responsibility for your own life, you will!
Thoughts are very powerful! Be kind to yourself, be your own best friend, get in the driver's seat of your life and live intentionally!
2.) Get Inspired:
Select the quotes that resonate the most with you.
Write each on a Post-It note and place in various locations where you will see them throughout the day as reminders such as: bathroom mirror, nightstand, fridge, check book, car dashboard, underwear drawer, etc.
Here are some of my favorites...
"Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength." - Arnold Schwarzenegger
"Live with no excuses and Love with no regrets. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that YOU have a 1000 reasons to Smile." - Author Unknown
"Look at life through a windshield, not the rear-view mirror." - Byrd Baggett
"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward." - C.S. Lewis
"Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness." - Thich Nhat Hanh
3.) Let the Music Move 'Ya!
Turn on your favorite music and sing!
Close the curtains and dance!
Go ahead and bust a move! Whenever you feel at your worst, turn on the stereo or your iPod, crank up the volume and sing. On the top of your lungs.
Belt out the words to the songs to help you use your anger to shift out of feeling sorry for yourself. Sing them and feel strong and ready to kick some ass.
And equipped to get the ultimate revenge which is moving forward and creating an amazing new life for yourself.
Here's a list of my favorite empowering divorce recovery songs on Spotify for your listening pleasure. Enjoy!
4.) Laugh It Off:
Sometimes laughter really is the best medicine. It relieves stress, improves health and boosts mood.
Watch a DVD of one of your favorite stand-up comedians. Rent a funny movie, watch a funny tv show and/or subscribe to a "Joke A Day" website.
IMDb's Listing of Funniest Movies of All Time
IMDb's Listing of Funniest TV Shows of All Time
To help you stay grounded during difficult times, find an affirmation that you will say to yourself every day, as often as you need to.
To super-charge it, read your affirmation ALOUD before going to sleep at night and upon waking in the morning so it can process while you sleep.
6.) Read Into It:
Curl up with an encouraging book.
Here are some of my favorites...
- Spiritual Divorce - Author: Debbie Ford
- Transitions, Making Sense of Life's Changes - Author: William Bridges
- You Can Heal Your Life - Author: Louise Hay
- The Secret of the Shadow - Author: Debbie Ford
- A Return to Love: Reflections of A Course in Miracles - Author: Marianne Williamson
- Chicken Soup For The Soul: Divorce & Recovery - Author: Jack Canfield/Mark Victor Hansen/Patty Hansen
7.) Volunteer/Help Someone Less Fortunate:
There is no better way to lift your spirits than to help someone less fortunate than you and there are so many ways to help others.
Here are a few ideas...
8.) Get Outdoors:
Fresh air does wonders for your body and spirit.
Sunshine produces vitamin D/melatonin, which is a mood booster. If you can get to a park or a place in nature, even better.
Here are some ideas...
- Go for a walk
- Plant some flowers
- Ride a bike
- Pull up a patch of grass and enjoy the natural beauty around you!
9.) Take a Break from "Bad News"
Ever notice that the news is filled with ten times more tragic, awful news than it is with upbeat, happy news?
Think about it. How often do we get to read about a new puppy being born? Instead, it's usually all doom and gloom.
When this type of negative exposure goes into our mind, it really pulls our energy down. To counter this, don't watch the news or read the newspaper first thing in the morning or last thing before bed in the evening.
Or better yet, take a break from the news altogether.
10.) Walk a Dog:
If you don't have your own dog, offer to walk a neighbor's pup. Or even better yet, sign up at the local shelter to walk the adorable pooches who have no one to love them.
What a nice way to make a difference!
11.) Adopt a Pet
It is proven that there are many health benefits associated with owning a pet, including reducing feelings of loneliness or anxiety, lowering blood pressure and stress.
Pets love unconditionally, and they always know just what to do to make you laugh.
12.) Eat Nutritional Healthy Foods
Are you skipping meals or eating junk or processed foods due to stress?
A diet of highly processed foods deprives us of much-needed nutrients, and nutrients make us happy.
So eat healthy, nutritious meals at meal time, to boost your energy and mood. Make meals in advance so you just need to warm something up on particularly rough days.
Here are some healthy meals that can be made quickly.
13.) Drink Water
It's good for you and helps boost your mood.
Not drinking enough water could cause dehydration, which negatively impacts mood. When you drink water it helps wash away the toxins that are accumulating inside your body.
Exercise is good for you and it makes you feel good.
Go for a jog around the block, hike through a park, sign-up for a yoga class, just get out there and move!
15.) Get Enough Sleep
OK, I know this may be a tall order based on your situation, but getting a good night's sleep (7-8 hours per night) does wonders for your health, energy and overall well-being.
If you're having trouble falling asleep, try some lavender oil to help you get sleepy.
16.) Personal Spa and Relaxation Day
Pamper yourself with a massage, pedicure, and/or haircut.
Or, turn your own bathroom into a personal spa by dimming the lights, lighting candles, put on some relaxing music and soaking in a warm bubble bath. Don't forget to unplug the phone!
Include as many of these ideas as you like or have time for.
17.) Unleash Your Creativity
Bake and decorate a cake, plant a garden, paint a picture.
Learn a new craft (check your local craft store for ideas). Pick up that guitar, practice and write a song -- it doesn't have to be good. Just doing these things will make you feel good.
And if you keep doing them you'll naturally get better.
18.) Reach Out
Connect with friends and family (the supportive ones only!)
Send an e-mail to someone you haven't heard from in a while.
Invite a friend to lunch. See your old friends. It's easy to get into a rut during divorce where each day looks like the one before between work, caring for the kids, housework, dealing with the divorce process, sleep and back to work again routine that leaves you no time at all to be the fun-loving, outgoing person you once were.
Go on, invite a friend out for coffee and catch up on each other's lives.
19.) Have Faith
Reconnect or connect to your spirituality. Go to church or temple. Or, if you're spiritual but not religious, try meditation.
20.) Wake-up Call
Change the way you wake up in the morning. If you usually wake up to a loud beeping alarm clock, change it to something peaceful like birds chirping or ocean waves. Or something fun and inspirational like your favorite song.
21.) Meditate Daily
Take the time to engage in the practice of quieting your mind.
Focus on your breath/breathing.
Take a few deep breaths, and relax and don't get hung up on finding the ultimate time and place to meditate. If you set 10 minutes as your goal, commit to it. Accept distractions as normal, simply refocus your attention back to a mantra, candle or feeling of your breath.
Be kind to yourself -- if your mind wanders, don't judge harshly. Just accept and refocus. Start with a beginner's mind and be open to whatever happens next. Don't give up.
Write a Gratitude List - a list of everything good in your life.
Sometimes, when we're so wrapped up in focusing on the bad, we can forget all the little things that are actually good in the world.
Write down all the things you're grateful for, no matter how small -- from waking up and seeing your children's beautiful faces to the smell of fresh cut grass in the local park. This is a great way to cheer yourself up and if you do it regularly, it can give you a whole new way of experiencing your life.
Clean out a drawer, closet, desk or room you've filled up with stuff.
Having a clean desk/room/closet feels like a clean start. I feel instantly lighter after cleaning out my perpetually cluttered closet.
Getting rid of clutter rids your living space of negative trapped energy and allows new positive energy to flow into all aspects of your life.
Force yourself to smile even if you don't feel like it.
"Just fake it 'til you make it."
This tricks your brain into thinking that you're happy. And then you will be!
25.) Choose Happy
Happiness is a choice and it is one that only you can make.
You have the choice whether to spend this day, which you will never live through again, in a state of happiness or unhappiness.
Choose to spend it as happily as you possibly can.
Remember that no one can make you happy except you!
Joe and Cheryl Dillon are co-founders of Equitable Mediation Services, a divorce mediation firm that specializes in helping couples negotiate a fair settlement customized to their unique needs and that puts their children first.