Remember Game 5 of the 2012 NBA Finals, when the Heat's creaky Mike Miller, who hadn't made a three-pointer in the previous four games, suddenly drained SEVEN threes like a man possessed and set an NBA record?
Truth is, he was possessed! By the Mystic Wolfman Barfar, who had just coached secret space prince Chris Bosh to avenge his slain father by killing an evil sorceress who planned to control the world by swapping our dimension with Internet. And that's how Miami got a victory parade! All life is real.
Or at least that's the story told by "Adventures of Christopher Bosh in the Multiverse," an animated short from Ronnie Rivera of Miami art collective Bleeding Palm. The film, commissioned by Miami's Sundance feeder Borscht Film Festival, is a delightfully frenetic, sly romp through multiple planes of space and time with a secret only-in-Miami narrator twist you have to watch to believe.
And fortunately for everyone, Borscht has just released this true story of Chris Bosh in full, which you can now watch above (warning: contains a graphic image). It explains almost everything about our favorite quirky power forward-center hybrid -- everything, that is, except that birthday cake. But some things are best left a mystery.
The film almost didn't happen, thanks to a reported cease-and-desist from NBA attorneys. If they'd only known how awesome it was, right? See, back in the day and worlds away, Bosh's father (filmmaker Barry Jenkins) made a last stand against the evil sorceress Jillian (artist Jillian Mayer), and was only defeated when distracted at the last second by his tag-along son. Jillian and Bosh then both fell through a wormhole, where she landed in a far-off Geocities prison only to plot a break-out by stealing time from distracted humans via various Internet time-wasters.
And Bosh, as we know, landed in Texas and 20 years later was playing for the Heat, consumed with guilt about his father's death and reading books like "Living With Not Living Up To Expectations." When Mystic Wolfman Barfar arrived in Miami to convince Bosh he was the only hope for defeating Jillian and saving the multiverse, well, let's just say that abdominal injury Bosh suffered in the Eastern Conference Semifinals wasn't what it seemed -- and you won't believe who saves his bacon in the end.
"Bosh's sinews know nothing of mammalian weakness," claims Alllifeisreal.com, a companion site to the film. That sounds about right, so it's all the proof we need, along with this exclusive gif from the filmmakers.
Keep an eye on the Borscht Corp Tumblr for more free releases of festival-commissioned films.