The holiday season is full of delicious treats, from hot chocolate and egg nog to peppermint bark and chestnuts roasted on an open fire. And then, of course, there’s the tradition of Christmas cookies.
Whether you prefer classic sugar cookies or seasonal gingerbread, this holiday indulgence certainly satisfies a sweet tooth. And of course, there are many opportunities for humor. We’ve rounded up 40 funny tweets about baking (and eating) Christmas cookies. Enjoy!
5-year-old: We have to eat all the Christmas cookies.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 21, 2017
5: So Mom makes more Christmas cookies.
Me: *starts eating all the cookies*
A Single Jewish Girl's Guide to Christmas Eve: "Well SOMEbody in this house has to eat all of these cookies tonight if Santa isn't coming."— Chelsea Nachman (@chelseanachman) December 25, 2014
My mouth is playing a losing game of Just The Tip with this Christmas tree cookie.— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) December 23, 2013
You think you cringed watching your kids decorate the Christmas tree? Wait until they help bake cookies. 😬😬😬— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 8, 2018
"O, night. O night divine," I sing softly as I prepare to eat an entire batch of Christmas cookies all by myself.— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) November 28, 2016
Me: what was your favorite part of our Christmas party? Friends? Staying up late? Knowing Christmas is soon?— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) December 17, 2017
5: nobody knew how many cookies I took from the table. I must have had 20.
Me: I always get sick just before Christmas.— 〰 Just Linda 〰 (@LindaInDisguise) December 22, 2015
Him: Do you get flu shots?
Me: Why? Would they stop me from over-eating Christmas cookies?
Decorating Christmas cookies— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) December 23, 2015
7: I'm just gonna eat all this, ok? (Points to sprinkles, icing)
Me:(already squeezing frosting into my mouth)
Baking Christmas cookies with your kids is a great way to question all of your life choices.— Foxy Wine Pocket (@FoxyWinePocket) December 12, 2016
If all the Christmas cookies turn out like the ones my kids just made we may have to leave Santa fortune cookies.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 8, 2019
Me have question. How many Christmas cookies too many?— Cookie Monster (@MeCookieMonster) December 23, 2018
'hey now, you're an all star' i cry sing, cramming a tenth christmas cookie in mouth— beth, a left leaning feed (@bourgeoisalien) December 25, 2018
That moment when you finally finish the last batch of rolled Christmas cookies and your kids lost interest 40 mins ago.— Jenna Fischer (@jennafischer) December 21, 2016
"Ugh! Why do Christmas cookies take so long to make?"— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) December 22, 2016
-me, while placing break-n-bake dough on the cookie sheets
Has a gingerbread man cookie ever lived up to expectations? SAD! Everyone knows the Christmas cookie tradition is rigged! Congress should investigate NOW!— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) December 20, 2017
Only slightly tired of seeing Christmas cookies on Instagram that I can't eat.— Abbi Thanksgiving Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) December 15, 2014
I was supposed to go to bed an hour ago, but these Christmas cookies aren't going to eat themselves.— Nicole Chung (@nicolesjchung) December 23, 2014
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) December 10, 2018
So today I’m baking Christmas cookies with my little munchkins! You’re gonna want to start with 5 Advil...
The only thing that would make this batch of Christmas cookies better is if it were a Benedict Cumberbatch of Christmas cookies.— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) December 20, 2013
My life is fraught with drama ever since a pic of my Christmas cookies hit the Instagram popular page, is this what it's like to be tswift— Gabby Noone (@twelveoclocke) December 24, 2014
Hm. The cookies my mom sent me for Christmas still haven't arrived. Unless... she didn't send cookies at all, but merely TOLD me she was sending cookies.— Mary Gillis (@living_marble) January 11, 2018
I see now. Her true gift was building my character through subtle psychological torture & inuring me to minor disappointment.
"I want you to make a Christmas cookie where people look at it and say, 'wow, that looks like a Christmas cookie.'"— wikipedia brown aka silk bonnet spectre (@eveewing) December 24, 2015
- my mother
Kids want to decorate Christmas cookies & I'm like, would you guys settle for squirting ketchup & BBQ sauce on McDonald's chicken nuggets?— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) November 30, 2016
When it's 2 a.m. and you have a massive Christmas cookie fail, it's time to get them a gift certificate and go to bed.— wikipedia brown aka silk bonnet spectre (@eveewing) December 17, 2013
People are always making a big deal about Christmas cookies, but cookies should feel our love all year round.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) December 7, 2016
Making Christmas cookies with my wife and kids. Is there anything better in life?— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) December 1, 2013
*sneaks off to watch football*
Dec1- This year I'm going to make four different kinds of Christmas cookies.— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) December 15, 2016
Dec23- *QUICK! BUY EVERYTHING IN THE BAKERRRYYYY!!!
Me: so I was going to send you Christmas cookies— mechanical turkey (@alicegoldfuss) November 24, 2016
Mom: well don't send us like 50 dozen
Sister: *jumping into view* send me 50 dozen
Having Oreos in your house during the holidays is like taking out insurance against your homemade Christmas cookies.— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) December 23, 2016
(931): dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.— TextsFromLastNight (@TFLN) December 25, 2014
My wife spent all afternoon baking Christmas cookies.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 18, 2017
I spent all afternoon eating them.
It's called teamwork.
The only thing we have to eat in my house is Christmas cookies and I am untroubled.— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) December 24, 2018
If you sliced some premade commercially processed dough from a plastic tube and heated it in an oven, you did NOT make Christmas cookies.— Cabo🖐🏿 🇺🇸 🍳🔪 (@Shot_Of_Cabo) December 9, 2019
I will not take discussion on this.
i will break into ppls house on christmas eve night just to get some cookies— carmen (@carmenhatesu) December 22, 2012
Woke up covered in tinsel and wrapping paper. What was in those christmas cookies?— Tom Papa (@tompapa) December 26, 2015