As a writer, there’s nothing quite like embarking on a new book. There’s something special about putting that first crease in a book’s spine or even earmarking a page for the first time.
When I started reading journalist Claire Halliday’s latest book, Things My Mother Taught Me, I expected it to be a good read. I can’t say I could have predicted how this insightful collection would hit a nerve for me personally. Upon reflection, I put it down to the fact that I’m almost 30 now and those years of rebellion and craving space from my family have passed. These days, I feel grateful when my mum goes out of her way to cook a meal for me or texts me to check in when I’m travelling. I know that not everyone gets that in life.
Things My Mother Taught Me is a collection of diverse stories of Australians who each write about their mothers. What it was like growing up with them, what they taught them, what they once took for granted that they now miss and so on. The line-up assembled by Halliday is genuinely impressive and includes Naomi Simson, Adriano Zumbo, Benjamin Law, Li Cunxin, Shaynna Blaze, Tracy Bartram and more.
To my surprise, it was the tale told by fashion designer Paolo Sebastian that resonated most with me. Not only is Sebastian also of Italian descent, he recalls the priceless memories created when he and his mother visited family in Sicily. This struck a nerve with me as I too visited Sicily and Malta (I’m half Italian, half Maltese) with my parents and instantly felt at home in both locations.
“Going to Sicily, where my Nonno’s hometown was, and seeing how at-home Mum seemed there - and seeing how her cousins were so similar to her, with similar mannerisms - was lovely,” he writes.
One of the funniest instalments in the book is Benjamin Law’s chapter. Of course, he’s well-known for his memoir, The Family Law, which has now been adapted into a TV show for SBS. Law recalls telling his mother that he was gay for the first time: “Her shoulders slumped in relief and sympathy, and she patted my back and said: ‘Don’t be silly, there’s nothing wrong with being gay - it just means that something went wrong in the womb, that’s all’.” Law goes onto express how hilarious he finds the response in retrospect.
Meanwhile, Naomi Simson’s story is also memorable as she details how her mother set her up to be the success she is today as the founder of gift experience business, RedBalloon. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud as she describes her mother’s line of questioning about her magazine and TV appearances: “Why did they choose that red lipstick for your? It’s quite bright.” Whose mother has never come out with a similar question just as you’re getting ready to go out?
What is very apparent about this collection is that while there are plenty of heartwarming stories that make for easy reading, the contributors aren’t scared to enter into challenging territory. One thing that I couldn’t shake while reading each chapter was to keep in mind that we’re hearing one person’s story - I thought it would be equally as interesting to get an insight as to how the mothers in each case would tell the same tale.
So what were Halliday’s motivations for putting such a collection together? It’s rather interesting considering it is her adoptive mother who is the key maternal influence in her own life. She said the following in a recent interview: “I’m an adopted person so when I think about the lessons my mother taught me, I think of two women… two mothers… multiple stories… One thing my birth mother has taught me is the difference between nature versus nurture. I think nurture has a power that is hard to beat.”
They’re powerful words. What’s equally as powerful is that this is a book that everyone can relate to - we all have mothers. Even if the situation is far from ideal, that mother-child relationship is something that creates a mark on us that we live with forever.
If you’re interested in reading how some of Australia’s most successful identities spent their childhood, pick up a copy of Things My Mother Taught Me.