Clinton Foundation To No Longer Accept Clintons

AMES, IA - NOVEMBER 15:  Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton (L) and her husband and former President Bill Clin
AMES, IA - NOVEMBER 15: Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton (L) and her husband and former President Bill Clinton share a moment on stage during the Central Iowa Democrats fall barbecue November 15, 2015 at Hansen Agriculture Student Learning Center of Iowa State University in Ames, Iowa. Clinton continued to campaign for the nomination from the Democratic Party. (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)

BROOKLYN NY -- In an unprecedented move to appear ethical, Bill and Hillary Clinton announced today that they will no longer allow their foundation to come anywhere near them. While campaign surrogates hailed the pronouncement as significantly vague, sources close to Bill Clinton say the former president remains angry at having to make what he sees as an unnecessary choice between power and graft. The couple will seek to make due on the $115 million they managed to accumulate before they realized they wanted to be co-presidents again.

The move will have no impact on Chelsea Clinton and her husband Marc Mezvinsky, who intend to remain independently seedy.