Clone Jim Lampley and Draft Him

The obvious solution to President Bush's Iraq problem is simple. He needs to reverse his position on funding for stem cell research, get over his "fear" of living in a world without cloning, and clone enough teenagers to build a draft the Chinese would fear. This would make him a hero to disgruntled scientists who have dragged themselves from all over the world to California, hoping to be a part of the next big stem cell wave, but who instead had to read about South Korea's new inroads into their turf.

A Presidential veto on stem cell research would be just another windshield cowboy ride through a desert wasteland of ignorance. If Bush were to encourage California's stem cell agency to work faster and more furiously, we could crank out battallion after battallion of cargo gear-clad soldier wannajoins eager to be all that they can be.

And the good news, for all those so infuriated this morning by former draft-dodger Jim Lampley's wild-eyed suggestion that we should bring back the draft, is that Lampley lives in California. This gives us a chance, under the right scientific circumstances, to give Lampley what he deserves for his hypocrisy and draft him, again and again and again.

Now if we could only clone Ben Bradlee.