Last night, Colbert mocked Americans who couldn't tell dog food from pâté. According to a recent study, 83% of participants mistook the low-grade animal food for the French delicacy, prompting Colbert to blame high-fructose corn syrup. He went on to say that when he wants pâté, he only chooses the fanciest of feasts. He then proceeded to whip out a tin of Fancy Feast cat food and eat it.
We are really, really hoping he found some way to switch the cat food out of that sealed can before air time, or else our dream of one day making out with Stephen Colbert will forever be marred by the image of the man downing Fancy Feast then licking water from a saucer.