Colin Cowherd's Great Interview With Donald Trump Reveals Trump's Greatness in All Its Greatness

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As a public service, here's an edited transcript of Colin Cowherd's much ballyhooed (but not much watched) interview Monday with Donald Trump.

Cowherd: Let's start by talking about how great and successful you are.

Trump: Absolutely, Colin. I am great. And I've always been great. And let me just say this -- I'm really great at so many things, practically everything, really. You look at all the great things I've done in my life and it's pretty clear, I am just great.

Cowherd: Given all that greatness, what made you decide to run for President?

Trump: Well, the country is a disaster, It's actually surprising we even exist any more, we're so bad.* I love my country and, of course, since I succeed at absolutely everything, I decided to run. Even though it's bad for business. Because that's the kind of guy I am. Because I am that great. And I will make everything great again.

Cowherd: Say more about how great you are.

Trump: Sure. Colin. And let me say what an honor it is to be on this show, because you understand greatness and you know how great I am and I respect that about you, your knowing my greatness. And I'm friends with a lot of great people, like Tom Brady. By the way, Colin, a lot of people don't know this, but I taught Tom how to throw a football. And he's really terrific.

Cowherd: How do people like you and Brady become great?

Trump: When you're as great as we are, you're just born with it. You can't teach it.

Cowherd: Because of my news background,** I have to ask you: How will you make all those great deals, like with China, when you're president, with your head or with your gut?

Trump: All of my deals turn out great. Usually, I make deals with my head. But sometimes I go with my gut. And those turn out great, too. Because everything I do turns out great, Colin.

Colin: It was really great having you on the show.

Trump: It was an honor having me on the show. Because I am great. And thanks, Colin, for the honor of letting me talk about how great I am.

Colin: Great.

*Trump actually said this.

**Cowherd actually said this.

(If you want to listen to the whole interview, it's here).