On last night's "Daily Show," host Jon Stewart announced that the upcoming Rally To Restore Sanity would be televised, just like the "revolution" you were promised not too long ago. And in addition to being carried live, on Comedy Central, the event will be streamed live on Comedy Central's website. Plus, if you are the sort of people who can only watch teevee with other people, or are interested in using the Rally To Restore Sanity as an inroad to conquering your crippling agoraphobia, head on over to RallyMAO (which stands for "Rally My Ass Off," and not "Rally Mao Zedong," don't get it twisted, Glenn Beck!) to find a "satellite rally" near you, where you can join people in your local community in rededicating yourself to classical Stoicism.
This is good news for all who cannot attend, and especially good news for Democrats, because I've been led to believe that their entire volunteer workforce for that weekend's Get Out The Vote effort were going to be flying across the country to attend the rally, because that's precisely the sort of wealth that's been concentrated into the hands of campaign volunteers. Our position on this remains the same, by the way. If you've agreed to work for a political campaign, you should honor your commitment. And if you're a candidate running the sort of campaign that doesn't inspire the same fealty as a teevee show in people, perhaps you ought to consider another line of work? Thanks ever so much!
In addition, Stewart offered up many important rules for attending the Rally To Restore Sanity, including: "No nudity, no throwing stuff, and no totalitarian fascism. When in doubt, don't be douchey." (That last one will be a difficult task to master for any and all Congressional staffers who might be attending.)
Watch the clip for the rules, and stay for one of the better Huffington Post Bus jokes you're likely to hear. For the record, we've no affection at all for the brutal, autocratic regime in North Korea, but we nevertheless see the appeal of a military culture that seems to think that their best means of intimidation is to spend all day lindy-hopping around the town square.
Meanwhile, poor Stephen Colbert! He forgot to apply for a permit for his March To Keep Fear Alive! But at the very least, he's got important news: Rally/March merchandise! And, as Colbert has done in the past, proceeds will benefit the Yellow Ribbon Fund, a fine organization which assists our veterans in convalescence at Walter Reed and Bethesda Naval hospitals, their families and their caregivers.