Coming Soon: <i>Adolph & Adolf</i>

Coming Soon:
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The following preview has been approved for all audiences by the Motion Picture Association of America:

(INT. RESTAURANT IN GERMANY, 1925 - ADOLF HITLER and EVA BRAUN are eating dinner.)

Eva: Adolf, what would you really like to do?

Adolf Hitler: Run against von Hindenburg and then take over the world.

Eva: Darling--you'll be so good at it!

(ANGLE ON Adolf Hitler, finishing writing Mein Kampf.)

(INT. NEW YORK APARTMENT, 2008 - ADOLPH KAMMER is typing on his computer.)

Adolph Kammer (voice-over): What does Adolf Hitler have to do with me--lowly blogger Adolf Kammer?

(INT. COFFEE SHOP - Adolph Kammer is sitting with friends HENRY and SUSAN.)

Henry: I just posted a video of my baby shitting on the floor and it got over 15 million views.

Susan: My vlog about why I hate clothespins got 10 million views. What about you, Adolph?

Adolph Kammer: My Huffington Post piece about Botswana bushmen being convicted for hunting in the Central Kalahari Game Reserve got two comments.

(Henry and Susan stare at Adolph with pity.)

(INT. ADOLPH KAMMER'S APARTMENT - Adolph is watching television with his girlfriend, EVE; their dog sits in front of them.)

Adolph Kammer: I have to put something on YouTube--something that will immediately catch on with everybody. Something I can endlessly repeat. But, what? What?

Eve: Shhh! This is the best part.

(ANGLE ON TELEVISION: 2004's Downfall is playing, with Bruno Ganz as Hitler in the famous bunker scene, ranting to German officers. A light appears over Adolph's head, accompanied by Wagner's "The Ride of the Valkyries.")

(INT. GERMANY, 1932 - Hitler speaks fervently to a crowd at the Dusseldorf Industry Club.)

Adolf Hitler (voice-over): You should have seen the way that crowd looked at me--but then, they discovered I was fearless!

(INT. ADOLPH KAMMER'S APARTMENT, 2008 - Adolph is busy on the computer.)

Adolph Kammer (voice-over) The Adolph-slash-Adolf project: I do a different Downfall parody every day--365 days, 365 parodies!

(ANGLE ON COMPUTER: the clip from Downfall is playing, with appropriate sub-titles.)

German Officer: Mein Führer...John McCain has chosen Sarah Palin as his Vice-Presidential running mate.

(Hitler/Ganz looks shaken, removes glasses.)

Hitler/Ganz: Whoever supported Mitt Romney, please leave the room.

(Several officers leave.)

Hitler/Ganz: Has McCain lost his fucking mind? I'd even take that Jew Lieberman over Palin! The election is over! OVER!!

(INT. ADOLPH KAMMER'S APARTMENT - Adolph raises his arms triumphantly.)

Adolph Kammer: My Sarah Palin Downfall parody is the most watched YouTube video behind "Beverly, the Tuba-Playing Iguana!"

(INT. ADOLF HITLER'S HOME AT OBERSALZBERG, 1933 - Hitler raises his arms triumphantly.)

Adolf Hitler: The Reichstag is burning!

(ANGLE ON COMPUTER: the clip from Downfall is playing, with appropriate sub-titles.)

German Officer: Mein Führer...the Justice Department has officially declared that waterboarding is illegal.

(Hitler/Ganz looks shaken, removes glasses.)


Voice on Answering Machine Number 1: Hello, is this Adolph Kammer? I work for the History Channel and we'd like to turn your Downfall parodies into a 500-part weekly series.

Voice on Answering Machine Number 2: Hello, is this Adolph Kammer? I'm Walt Disney and I've been thawed out specifically to offer you a five-picture deal with my studio.

(INT. HITLER'S HOME AT OBERSALZBERG, 1933 - Eva is preparing to put a lobster into a pot of boiling water as Hitler watches, horrified.)

Adolf Hitler: No! Don't! Their screams! Please, stop!!

(INT. ADOLPH KAMMER'S APARTMENT, 2009 - Adolph sits at table, looking worried, as Eve watches.)

Adolph Kammer: Now, everyone is doing Downfall parodies! Who do they think they are, to dare sully something I created? Is this what it has come to? They are cowards, traitors, and failures!!

Eve: You're becoming obsessed with Hitler. You're becoming Hitler!

Adolph Kammer: That's not true!

(Adolph gives cyanide pill to the dog, who instantly dies.)

(ANGLE ON COMPUTER: the clip from Downfall is playing, with appropriate sub-titles.)

German Officer: Mein Führer...Slumdog Millionaire has won the Academy Award for Best Picture.

(Hitler/Ganz looks shaken, removes glasses.)

(EXT. GERMANY, 1933 - Adolf and Eva kiss outside the Old Town Hall in Munich.)

(ANGLE ON COMPUTER: the clip from Downfall is playing.)

German Officer: Mein Führer...Apple is preparing an iPod Touch with a camera and microphone.

(Hitler/Ganz looks shaken, removes glasses.)

Adolph Kammer (voice-over): I was drowning and Hitler saved me--just like he saved Germany. Er...for a little while.

Announcer (voice-over): Adolph & Adolf. Today YouTube. Tomorrow the world. Virally.

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