Conan O'Brien Drives Tom Cruise Around To Discuss Nothing

"If I wanted a tour guide, I'd hire a tour guide."

Conan O’Brien spoofed the trend of celebrity car-ride gimmicks by driving Tom Cruise around London and pretty much doing nothing. And it’s refreshingly funny.

Imagine a trip with no karaoke, no getting coffee and no gratuitous promotion of a star’s new movie.

In a taped segment for his show Tuesday, Conan threw in a few other detours on this road to nowhere by mistakenly asking Cruise about his star turn in “Officer and a Gentleman” and handing the actor a water bottle to pee in.

Cruise kept angling for a conventional interview and even began to point out the sights, but O’Brien wouldn’t have it.

“If I wanted a tour guide, I’d hire a tour guide,” the host snapped.

Chalk up a victory for talk-show theater of the absurd.