77 Things That Are Cooler Than A Mandatory Ultrasound

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker (and potential 2016 presidential candidate) thinks that mandatory ultrasounds for women seeking abortions are "just a cool thing."

When you think "cool," the first thing that probably comes to mind is forcing women who are seeking to terminate a pregnancy to undergo a procedure where the "ultrasound technician point[s] out a fetus' visible organs and external features to the woman before she has an abortion."

No? Not so much?

As super-duper awesome as mandatory ultrasounds seem -- right up there with sipping mimosas and taking a beach vacay with your girl friends -- there are at least a few things that are "cooler." Here are 77 of them:

  1. Giving yourself a breast self-exam

  • Getting 10 messages in a row on OKCupid that just say "Hey"
  • Cleaning red wine off your white couch
  • All-white Emojis
  • Backlit selfies
  • Renting a car
  • Cleaning the crumbs out of the bottom of your purse
  • Pinning crap on Pinterest titled "15 Minutes To A Better Body: Tracy Anderson's Fast Fat Blaster"
  • Taking your kid to the dentist
  • Cleaning out the cat's litter box
  • Sweeping spaghetti off the floor
  • Cleaning out your junk drawer
  • Facebook stalking your ex
  • TurboTax
  • Plunging a toilet
  • Flossing
  • Dusting
  • Sorting through bank statements
  • Sunday errands
  • Grocery shopping
  • Trying to get everything from your iPhone on the cloud
  • Cleaning your bathtub
  • Waiting for your nail polish to dry
  • Bathing suit shopping
  • The peeling phase of a sunburn
  • Getting in a Twitter fight
  • Pat-drying tofu
  • Googling "Michael Fassbender girlfriend?" and then getting sad
  • Hiding engagement photos from your Facebook feed
  • Ultra-ribbed condoms
  • Colonoscopies
  • Dick pics on Snapchat
  • FaceTiming with bad wifi
  • Wondering what Pam spray actually is
  • Waiting for your bag to come off the carousel at the airport
  • Giving your dog a bath
  • Giving your cat a bath
  • Cleaning out the rotten food from your fridge
  • Cleaning crud from earring backs
  • Folding laundry
  • Sitting in traffic
  • Changing a flat tire
  • Feeding squirrels when you are secretly afraid of them
  • Feeding pigeons when you are secretly afraid of them
  • Having your eyes dilated at the eye doctor
  • Stepping in gum
  • The sound of two pieces of polystyrene rubbing together
  • The smell of burning hair
  • Attending an amateur ska band's concert
  • Spending half a day trying to figure out which smoke detector is beeping
  • Getting the hiccups on a first date
  • Transferring all your contacts from your old phone to your new one
  • Attending a barre class
  • Going to IKEA when it's extremely crowded
  • Transporting your IKEA purchases on the subway
  • IKEA in general
  • The "cannot take photo" iPhone alert
  • Accidentally walking into a mosh pit
  • Realizing Joey Fatone hosted a celebrity cook-off show
  • Sleeping on a plane
  • Eating plane food
  • Picking up your dog's poop
  • Having a rock in your shoe
  • Eating a stick of butter
  • Realizing you accidentally bought peanut M&Ms instead of regular M&Ms
  • Tripping in heels
  • Realizing you're not Beyoncé
  • Stubbing your toe
  • Putting aloe on a sunburn
  • Falling off the elliptical at the gym
  • Saying "hi" to someone who doesn't hear you
  • Running into an acquaintance from high school
  • Getting sick on vacation
  • Forgetting your iPod/iPhone when you go to the gym
  • Manspreading
  • Waving back to someone without realizing they're waving to someone behind you
  • Getting a cavity filled
  • And there you have it, Scotty.



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