During a pickup basketball game at a Dulles, Virginia, LA Fitness, a guy took it upon himself to call law enforcement after he was knocked to the floor following a hard screen. This is a historic occasion, at once the softest moment in the annals of recreational sports and a new entry in our national epidemic of frightened people calling the cops on black folks.
You can check out the incident report from the Loudoun County Sheriff’s Office at the bottom of the page, though Twitter user @_togs has a pretty complete account. According to @_togs, the unidentified dude, after getting floored, announced that he was going to call the police. Everybody thought he was joking, until he actually did the thing. (In the photo below, the caller is the guy standing on the deputy’s right.)
In a Twitter video recorded by another witness, the exasperated deputy explains that he’d heard there had been a fight, and that this was the first time he had been called to address a basketball foul.
In the report, the incident was classified as an assault, but neither party wanted to press charges. Both men admitted that they fouled each other and agreed to keep the game civil.