In a move that is sure to rock the sports novelty song world, Cracker Jack has been removed from the American classic, "Take Me Out to the Ballgame." It has been replaced by the newly FDA approved prostatic hyperplasia drug, Gottaflo. The rewritten lyric is, "Buy me some peanuts and Gottaflo, for when I take the pill my urine will go."
The one-hundred-year contract Cracker Jack signed with original rights holder Schwartz & Steinberg Vaudevillian recently expired and, as expected, a fierce bidding war erupted to take over that important piece of baseball real estate. Rumors have circulated that Reese's Pieces, Captain Morgan's Rum and Kim Kardashian all placed offers to have themselves inserted into the song, but at the end of the day, Dodson Pharmaceutical's male urination enhancement drug, Gottaflo, won out.
While Dodson Pharmaceutical is already catching flack for having encroached on the most well-known song ever written about baseball, the drug company believes the American people will eventually embrace them and their product. According to Beatrice Camden, VP of public relations for Dodson Pharmaceutical, "For the past century, fans of baseball have been forced to sing abut a caramel-coated popcorn snack that has caused hundreds of thousands of cases of high blood pressure, diabetes and childhood obesity in the United States. Sure, Gottaflo may not have a little prize at the bottom of its container, but it's the product itself that provides the real prize -- urinating with strength and with pride."
Corporate sponsorship has been a part of baseball for years, ranging from ballpark naming rights to baseball player naming rights, as seen with the Kansas City Royals' selection of high school pitching phenom, PartyPoker.com Phillips in the first round of last year's draft.
The next high profile opportunity for corporate sponsorship will come at the end of the season when MLB will start fielding offers for the league's 2011 slogan. For the past five years the slogan has been: "Baseball: American's Pastime, Brought To You By Saudi Petroleum, Inc."