There is one issue that I did not address in my 10 Commandments of Dating article and I think it’s important. That is the issue of “crazy”. Either you think you’re acting crazy, he thinks you are or you’re being made to feel crazy. A YouTube video came out a few years ago, spawning from the show “How I Met Your Mother”, called “The Crazy Hot Scale”. Let me just previous this with the fact that I absolutely HATE the word “crazy”, but I say it a lot in this article because it’s the language used in the video.
The video is a deep dive analysis describing just how “crazy” women are allowed to be based on how “hot” they are. That is the gist…
Before you stop reading or assume this is some kind of feminist rant, it’s not. I have seen the video several times and I find it hilarious. However, I’ll elaborate on my reasons why later.
Now, you may be thinking to yourself “why the hell is this girl watching The Crazy Hot Scale so many times?”.
There are three reasons for my frequent viewing…
1.) I’m hot (so are you!)
2.) I am a natural redhead
3.) My name is Tiffany
In the crazy hot scale, there is something they refer to as the “Danger Zone”. Here is where they list off those girls who are potentially within this zone “You got your redheads, anyone named Tiffany”, the video rattles off. Thus, placing me squarely in the “Danger Zone” according to the Crazy Hot Scale.
(Located around 1:54 into the video)
I have lost count of how many times this has been brought up to me on dates. How many times someone has excitedly pulled out their phone on a date to have me watch this video thinking I am unaware of my placement in the “Danger Zone”. *sigh*
I find this actually rather assuming, so I typically play along. I take it all in stride, I laugh, I quote the video and I don’t call these guys back….
There is nothing wrong with The Crazy Hot Scale philosophy per say,
but they are missing one important element:
Let’s Address My Top 3 Rebuttals To – The Crazy Hot Scale
1.) The Unicorn:
In the video, there is a reference to a “unicorn”, this is supposedly the perfect woman that is both hot and what I call “the cool girl”. Let me tell you something about the “unicorn.” They are created, not found. That means, every woman has the potential of being a unicorn, it’s how you treat her that determines whether or not you create a “crazy girl” or a “unicorn”.
Yup, CREATE. Unicorns are said to be a symbol of purity and grace. In the legends surrounding unicorns, it’s believed they can only be captured by virgins (ahem) virgins. Think about that. Unicorns have also been described as “wild creatures” and that’s what makes them so alluring.
One doesn’t simply capture a wild creature. You tame them by creating trust, spending time and building a genuine bond. You want to find your “unicorn’? Treat a woman like one. Period. (god, I’ve been waiting so long to say that!)
2.) When He Thinks You’re “Acting” Crazy – Let’s Analyze The WHY
I dated this guy one time who claimed he never called me a nasty name because he would say “you’re acting like a bitch” and then when he got the look of death from me he would say “I said ACTING, I didn’t say you WERE one”. haha clever. To be fair, he only did that twice (that’s all it took) LOL. Ladies, let’s admit that we are emotional creatures, we have our moments. Let’s also admit that more often than not, those moments are created by men acting like, well, men. The ironic thing about this is, if men realized how simple it actually is to avoid moments like these, life would be easier for all of us. Return a txt (like, not 4 days later *eye roll* – no one is THAT busy), don’t say shit you don’t mean, be clear on your intentions, don’t keep women around simply because you wantsomething from them.
Treat women like you’d want someone to treat your sister. Do you really think if his sister went to him and said “hey I really like this guy, but I never hear from him and I only see him when he wants sex” that he would just be like “oh, I mean, that’s totally fine”. No. Not unless he hates his sister. It’s all pretty simple. RESPECT HER. If you’re not interested, leave her alone, don’t lead her on. Healthy men won’t need to be told any of this. If he’s not doing these things and still claims you’re acting crazy, take a step back, check your emotions and reevaluate.
Is there other shit going on that may be affecting your emotions? If this is the case, put the crazy back under the bed and apologize. Own up and move on. I’ll fully admit, there have been times my emotions have gotten the better of me, but a real man will not chock this up to “crazy” he’ll realize shit happens and buy you ice cream (once you’re approachable again haha). Just remember, that means he gets a pass next time he doesn’t notice your hair during the play offs LOL. (just kidding, who cares if he doesn’t notice, all the other guys at the bar will) – Joking aside, men have their moments too. If he treats you gently in your moments, he can expect the same.
3.) Don’t Call Me Crazy (or Baby) – Setting Her Up To Be Crazy
I am SO sick of the fabricated relationship. Do you know what I am talking about? It’s when the guy starts talking future early on, calling you pet names and generally progressing a fabricated emotional connection. I don’t know if this is because of technology making it feel like we can connect with people simply through txt and online interactions or if these guys just need that much of an ego boost.
If a guy is calling you “baby” before the first date or talking about your potential future together, he can’t expect you NOT to react poorly (crazy) when he flips the script and plays dumb about all of this past talk (what do you mean, what did I mean?!?!). I have seen this so many times myself and with girlfriends. Boys, please, just stop. Don’t send mixed messages simply to get someone out of your league in bed. It doesn’t make you a player, it makes you insecure.
I say this because if your ultimate goal is sex and the only way you can achieve this is by creating a false emotional connection with a woman, you don’t got game…..you got issues and YOU are setting her up to be “crazy”. Sex is not that hard to achieve, if you’re resorting to this method, don’t complain when girls go “crazy” on you about it and expect more from you than you intended to give. It’s called misleading, look it up.
It should also be noted this category includes EX’s coming back to “reminisce” about all the good times. That’s just another form of creating fabricated emotional connection.
Woman are emotional creatures and that is beautiful.
Men shouldn’t be looking for a non-emotional woman, they should be creating a safe healthy emotional space…creating a unicorn. No one is inherently “crazy”, at least not in the sense that we’re using this terrible word. The issue is that we’re not talking through expectations and needs or we’re dating boys instead of men.
If someone is making you feel crazy, don’t waste your time. There is absolutely nothing worse than feeling like your feelings are not valid or like you’ve done something wrong for feeling what you feel. There is also absolutely nothing wrong with being emotional, it’s only wrong if you’re not checking in with yourself on where it’s coming from and making efforts to understand (and explain if needed). Women waste far too many hours wondering, analyzing and worrying. This is what makes us crazy. This is a result of not feeling secure in our interactions with someone. If he’s making you feel insecure, it’s probably because he’s stringing you along. Boys like that, just need a lot of attention.
They are not secure enough in themselves, so they have to bring you down to their level. It ain’t worth it ladies! Life is too short for that. Even if you’re simply just dating and not looking for something serious, keeping these kinds of boys around is pointless.
Surround yourself with healthy men who step up and deserve your time. Enjoy it.
Oh, and you know when you watch a really scary movie and you need to follow it by watching something happy? Wash away “The Crazy Hot Scale” video with this jam…. it’s my anthem, you can borrow it. Look for for man like this:
PS: Now you see why I think this video is hilarious. Because it’s SO Far off base that it can’t be anything else.
PPS: I have never slashed tires or keyed cars hahaha just sayin’