There were a lot of adjustments to be made, having Michael at home. He and I were pretty much home alone together all day, while Lindsay and Bob (my husband) were at work. Michael wasn't too communicative, and was in a lot of pain most of the time, so that's what we dealt with. After being home awhile, and having a physical therapist come a couple of times a week, a power wheelchair was ordered for him. We had purchased a power scooter, secondhand, for him while he was in the nursing home, which gave him a lot more mobility. But the power wheelchair was much more comfortable and functional. I'd load him into the wheelchair van, and we'd go out to lunch, or to the store. He still had lots of doctor appointments, and was on a fairly large amount of medications - pain killers being the most life-changing for us all.
Michael's friend Adam would regularly come up and visit, which Michael really enjoyed. Many other 'friendships' fell by the wayside, as people realized he had more issues than they cared to deal with. Many other friends have managed to keep in touch over the years. Adam got engaged, and on one visit up to Michael, as the wedding was quickly approaching, Adam asked Michael to be his Best Man. They had discussed being each other's Best Men many times over the years, but we kind of thought, with Michael's mobility issues, etc, that Adam would choose one of his brothers to fill that position. But, no, he wanted Michael in that spot... To say it meant the world to Michael would be putting it VERY mildly!! We got him a black suit at the thrift store, and made hotel reservations for the wedding. Michael didn't attend any of the pre-wedding celebrations... and he was just fine with that. Bachelor parties weren't really part of his social plan...
Awhile before the wedding, Michael had made the decision, after speaking with his friend David, who lost an arm while in the Middle East in the Army, to have his right leg amputated at the knee. Years of debilitating pain, massive doses of pain killers, and great difficulty even rolling over in bed, combined with David's encouraging words, enabled Michael to make the decision to go through with the amputation. It was scheduled for a week before Adam's wedding, but we rescheduled it for a week after the wedding.
The wedding day was here!! Lindsay, Michael, and I went to the hotel and got comfortable. That afternoon we went to the wedding venue for the rehearsal. Michael had absolutely no difficulties getting around at all -- the rehearsal dinner was wonderful, seeing Adam and his new wife Marissa's families, and just having a great time in general. Michael was so excited on the wedding day!! We'd worked on what he was going to say as a toast to the newlyweds, and he practiced it that morning. And then it was off to the ceremony. A beautiful ceremony, with much consideration given to the limitations Michael dealt with -- not obvious things, just simple, thoughtful things.
And then to the reception... Michael was able to get up on the stage to sit at the wedding party's table because Adam constructed a ramp for him -- He gave his toast, and enjoyed his dinner. Afterwards, the band started playing... All the young women were standing around the dance floor, sort of in a circle, swaying to the music, but not dancing... Michael, in his wheelchair on the sidelines, said, "OK, let's get this party started!!" and wheeled out on the dance floor, tilted his chair back, and started 'groovin' to the music!!! Immediately, he was SURROUNDED by all these beautiful women, dancing with ALL of them!!! It was just amazing, and a wonderful weekend for us all to experience...
Five days later, Michael went in for his amputation surgery. It's never easy to turn your loved one over to nurses and doctors, especially when you're not 100 percent sure what the outcome is going to be. Would it be the simple surgery that had been explained to us? Would they find anything more involved as they got into the surgery? Would he lose more of his leg than expected? And mostly, would it bring him the relief he was looking for?
The day after the surgery I walked into his room, and he was doing 'stump-ups' -- showing us how easy it was to move his leg!! Smiling, not cringing in pain, he'd raise and lower his right leg, to show us how easy and painless it was!!! And, we were to start yet another journey...