Have you ever been at a point in your life where you don't know what you want to do next?
Maybe you've achieved goals and always had a plan, but now you are well and truly stuck?
As a coach I work with clients in this place all the time. They go on to create and work on their dreams. We work through their fears. We work through their "stories" which are holding them back. They create, achieve, develop and flourish. I love to be part of this journey with them.
Now I'm stuck! I wanted to be in this place so that I could fully experience the fear, the frustrations, the confusion and the sadness. It's a really scary place for me to be.
My story is that I love to change myself and reinvent and learn and grow. I've always been a "make it happen" kind of person. In fact my strapline is Live Learn Lead. My friends laugh that every five years I need to reinvent and change... they tell me they can set their calendar by it. In fact if I ever ask for help they usually laugh at me and tell me they know from long experience I'll figure it out. And I always have. I layer my new plans on the foundations of my existing experience so what I do ,and have done, begins to look like the rings on a tree or the striations in a quartz crystal. It's what I call "semi-risk"
This time it's "full-out risk". I've given up half my revenue stream (never the coaching) but other areas, which were getting stale WITHOUT knowing what I am going to add or do next.
I find myself looking into a future, which is an empty horizon. I've been lucky to have accomplished so many things, which were important to me... so Now What?
I've found that the harder I push to figure out what to do the less progress I'm making. So I find myself in this same place of fear and confusion of many of my clients.
As the title "Crossroads", from the song of the same name by Cream, suggests which way do I go? But in order to make a choice or a decision you need to have choices. Right now there is nothing, which appeals to me so I can dive into it with my heart and soul.
I know there is something, I just haven't found it yet.
I really hate to admit I don't have the answers.
I'm going to experience this moment and these emotions fully. I want them at the ready when I am coaching... it will make me a better coach..it will allow me to serve my clients from a deeper level.
In the meantime it's scary to be this exposed and vulnerable.
"Don't worry where I am. I'll tell you when I get there." Michael Lewis