Our victim, Roger Clemens, Hall of Fame pitcher for sure, just got into town. He checks out. Has to be in Washington this week for a hearing, he says. Asks if we can do a quick turnaround on some DNA.
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FADE IN.

(BRASS and GRISSOM kneel over the body of Roger Clemens examining the bruises on his tush.)

BRASS: Wow, that had to hurt.

(GRISSOM reaches into the pitcher's leather jacket pocket and pulls out several signed baseballs.)

BRASS: Well, robbery wasn't a motive.

GRISSOM: Do you think his erstwhile trainer injected him?

BRASS: Listen, Grissom, I don't know what erstwhile means, but he also has some syringes in his pockets and there may be some epithelials that I will get over to trace.

CLEMENS (waking up): Hi guys. Just taking a nap. You know this glad-handing of Congressmen is more exhausting than pitching half a season for $25 million.

GRISSOM: So much for a big name stiff.

(GRISSOM looks up at BRASS wishing the case involved insects.)

FADE TO END OF TEASER

ROLL TITLE CREDITS

FADE IN.

BRASS: Our victim, Roger Clemens, Hall of Fame pitcher for sure, just got into town. He checks out. Has to be in Washington this week for a hearing, he says. Asks if we can do a quick turnaround on some DNA.

GRISSOM: I guess he made enemies somewhere.

(CATHERINE shines her flashlight on Clemens' boxer shorts and smiles. She turns and gets a swab to take a sample of Clemens' DNA.) No blood drops here, just some B-12 and Lidocaine. Low-velocity spatter. No castoff.

(WARRICK watches from the side.)

WARRICK: Maybe he wasn't taking steroids or growth hormone after all?

CATHERINE: Naw, he must have. Could all the media and Senator Mitchell be wrong?

(Quick flashback to George Mitchell interviewing Brian McNamee: Witness is surrounded by three dozen FBI agents. McNamee is telling Mitchell something, but whispering. Mitchell is smiling, gleefully.)

(End of flashback. Resume to present.)

(WARRICK leans over and gets a good look at Clemens.)

WARRICK: Damn.

CLEMENS: OK, you can have one of the signed baseballs, but I can't take cash. You remember what happened to Pete Rose?

(Warrick just leans over and snaps a photo.)

CUT TO:

[INTERIOR CSI -- Forensic Lab.]

SARA: That guy, McNamee, has got some stones going after a mark as big as Roger.

NICK: He knows he has trouble any way you look at it.

[DR. ROBBINS enters in a hurry]: I heard Roger Clemens was in town. Is that true? Can I check his zygomatic, ethmoidal, and nasal bones? Also his mandible and maxilla? Did you find anything on his body?

GRISSOM: Just these syringes.

[INTERIOR CSI - HALLWAY / DNA LAB - NIGHT]

(GREG leads CATHERINE and GRISSOM into the lab.)

GREG: I recovered DNA from the syringes and compared it with Clemens' DNA. They are a perfect match.

GRISSOM: So McNamee was not lying. He did inject Clemens.

GREG: Yes, but that's where it gets weird.

(He opens a file folder.)

GREG: The DNA was from Clemens. It hit all 13 loci. One peep per marker.

CATHERINE: So Clemens was injected with these syringes, but there is no residue of steroids?

GRISSOM: You mean?

GREG: Yes, Roger Clemens was definitely taking a foreign substance in the ass, but that's all science can tell us.

WARRICK: Seems to me that it was McNamee who was the pain in the ass.

BRASS: Let's get back to solving murders.

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