It took us a day, but we finally plowed through all 79 proposals submitted by the Iraq Study Group. Now, we're all for thoroughness, but 79 seems like overkill -- it's hard enough to read through 79 proposals, let alone try to implement them. Here then is HuffPost's look at seven of the Group's suggestions that should be the first to go:
Recommendation 4: As an instrument of the New Diplomatic Offensive, an Iraq International Support Group should be organized immediately following the launch of the New Diplomatic Offensive.
First, did we miss the Old Diplomatic Offensive? Second, we'd love to think that an International Support Group is going to work but, really, it's just going to be a lot of sitting in a circle on folding chairs wondering when this guy is going to shut up about his wife leaving him for some other guy who blew up the Golden Mosque in Samarra.
Recommendation 13: There must be a renewed and sustained commitment by the United States to a comprehensive Arab-Israeli peace on all fronts: Lebanon and Syria, and President Bush's June 2002 commitment to a two-state solution for Israel and Palestine.
2002? C'mon, people -- that ship has sailed. Remember when the President was asked about his greatest achievement in office and he talked about catching that 7-pound bass? Seriously, 2002? Good luck, Bill and Ted.
Recommendation 21: The President should restate that the United States does not seek to control Iraq's oil.
Too hard for him to pull off with a straight face.
Recommendation 32: Minorities. The rights of women and the rights of all minority communities in Iraq, including Turkmen, Chaldeans, Assyrians, Yazidis, Sabeans, and Armenians, must be protected.
Beautiful sentiment, but not exactly our strong suit.
Recommendation 64: U.S. economic assistance should be increased to a level of $5 billion per year rather than being permitted to decline.
Five billion in economic aid? I can just hear Sen. Brownback complaining about welfare insurgents driving Escalades.
Recommendation 73: The Secretary of State, the Secretary of Defense, and the Director of National Intelligence should accord the highest possible priority to professional language proficiency and cultural training, in general and specifically for U.S. officers and personnel about to be assigned to Iraq.
We kinda doubt the Pentagon kept forwarding addresses for all those fired gay Arabic interpreters.
Recommendation 77: The Director of National Intelligence and the Secretary of Defense should devote significantly greater analytic resources to the task of understanding the threats and sources of violence in Iraq.
If this really needs to be said, we are screwed even worse than we thought.