My mission seemed simple enough: find a bathing suit before the start of Memorial Day weekend. Not only would I need it for a beach trip on Saturday, but I would need it for the rest of the summer.
My journey began at a local Gap, where I figured I would be in and out of the dressing room in 20 minutes. I've been working out all winter so I wasn't all that worried about stripping down in front of mirror and fluorescent lights. I just wanted a bathing suit, and a somewhat conservative one, in case I had to see any family members over the weekend. As I tried on the assorted bandeau and halter tops, though, I noticed something: the bathing suits offered little to no support. I'm a natural D Cup, and the choices at The Gap made me look a bra-burning hippie.
Bathing suit makers overlook the naturally busty woman. Spandex and Lycra on their own are not enough to keep The Girls up. Just like any undergarment, if you're over a C-Cup, you need extra support, especially if you plan to be in the water. This is not the case with fake breasts. Fake breasts are, by design, always perky. If you've paid upwards of $7,000 for your rack, the least they could is stand up on their own. Natural ones, on the other hand, need a little more engineering.
That engineering, however, is almost always absent from bathing suits. Most women will say they don't want an underwire in their bathing suit, but considering the alternatives, I encourage all the hardware I can get. After failing at The Gap, I headed over to Macy's thinking that a department store might have a better selection. I tossed about five different suits over my arms and tried them on. The cute, halter tankini, again, didn't even offer extra elastic. A pretty green bikini gaped open and left little to the imagination. Other suits didn't have enough fabric or they made my breasts look like a giant shelf of flesh.
Finally, after wondering if something was so wrong with the universe that I couldn't find an appropriate bathing suit, one found me, nestled on a rack next to some old lady muumuus. It's made by a company that caters to D and DD cup women. The suits are kind of bland, mostly black, although I found a tankini top with polka dots. It has a wire and the back straps are adjustable. Unprompted, my friends told me they thought it was cute. Mostly, I just felt like a soccer mom, rockin' the beach in my black tankini. But at least my breasts and I can frolic in the surf, just like anyone else.