Daddy Diaries Part 3

Daddy Diaries Part 3
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Your baby is on its way... you have a few more weeks to go and so you start wondering about things you need to buy. After all, there are so many things you need to prepare and plan for... a stroller, a cot, a bed, some toys... new clothes, sheets, blankets... blah, blah, blah... Those are only the materialistic items you need. And you think that covers the necessities at least. Or so you hope... But you're still worried. What if I'm missing something? What if there are things in there that my baby needs that I haven't thought of? Is there something that I need to keep them safe? To make them more comfortable? Warmer? Cooler? Insect free? Illness free?.... Am I doing this right?

Sounds like most first time parents I have met or spoken to; you're always wondering. You want to make sure it is right and that you're not going to short change your new born. After all, you don't want your kid to think that you're a cheapskate of some kind... Besides a few extra £ won't make a difference when you're spending all this much anyway... Right? Right? .... Ummmm... that's a big fat wrong!!! Those few extra ££ can quickly become a lot more £££££ if you aren't paying attention (or maybe even if you are)... or worse yet if you're succumbing to your innermost (and outermost) fears... and all that marketing BS out there.

You're excited, but you're also lost. Where do I start? What comes first, you wonder (the chicken or the egg... in this case, the cot or the stroller)? Google has lists and lists... and then some more lists... that are supposedly meant as helpful guides for new parents. But it also has the good, the bad, the ugly and not to mention the weird... It has lists for the rich parents... lists for the poor parents... lists for the adventurous ones, and then for the not so adventurous ones. But you don't want to sift through all that. It's way too much effort; you want something quick, something easy, something that is almost customized for you... by someone that has likes, dislikes (and a wallet) like yours... And so the lists come from friends, from family, from friends of friends who have all been through the process recently. You hope and pray that the lists are (a) similar; and (b) within reason (both in terms of amount of things and cost of things).

And that's when your hopes are shattered and your every wish is turned upside down... the lists are long, immensely long in some cases. Depending on the nature of the parent, their level of neuroticism and maybe their level of excitement, those lists can go into pages and pages... the lists we got ranged from a reasonable 58 items, all the way to 286 items... 286!!!! I don't think we even have that many things in our house, between my wife and I! Ok, I exaggerate, maybe we have 289 items... but this is a newborn kid we are talking about... what are all these things it could require a few hours, weeks and months into its life! I mean a few clothes, a bed to sleep in and a stroller to get from Point A to Point B should do the trick no? But no, the little one needs a rocker, it needs a swing, a play gym (a what?!?!)... I don't even go to the gym and my unborn child will need a play gym... and similarly the list goes on.

You narrow it down and bring together the key components you think are necessary for this, and then off you go with a big fat wallet, wads of cash and an endless credit card balance to the stores. Here you meet sales people and customer service reps (as they like to now be called) whose sole job it is to tell you why it is that you need something and why your baby must have that particular accessory. In our trips to all the stores, I think we met only one sales lady who was kind enough to relay her own experiences and what she did and did not end up buying. As you walk these aisles and look at all the stuff there is out there... thermometers, nail cutters, scissors, hats, caps, mittens, gloves, medicines, tubs, towels, bottle cleaners, sterilizers... you name it and it's all there in miniature sizes... made for these little people. And what's more important, there are people buying these things....

Just like a grocery store aisle that carries 10 different kinds of cereal - low fibre, no fibre, with grains, with wheat, with raisins, without raisins, with fruits, without fruits, chocolate coated, sugar frosted - these baby stores carry 10 different varieties of everything. It's not like it's hard enough choosing them as it is, and then you have the option of 10 different kinds of strollers, 10 different kinds of car seats and 10 different kinds of cots... And unlike the cereals, it's not like the difference in these varieties are very obvious. Take the strollers for instance - some are foldable one way; others another way; some have a particular kind of suspension in the wheels and others don't... some with a full rain cover and some with only half a cover... and those are just the basic options! As you walk through these aisles and struggle with these options, you cannot help but marvel at an industry that has built itself purely on the paranoia and fear of would be parents.

There are 7 billion people in the world today and a majority of them were born in a simpler time, with lesser marketing, lesser paranoia and therefore fewer gadgets and gizmos. Sometimes you wonder whether your kid can join that list too... But then you look around at everything that is available to you, at all your family and friends that have bought into the hoopla and just wonder, "would my little one be uncomfortable if I didn't buy that stroller that folded in a certain way..." And then you know, that's how Mothercare, John Lewis, Mamas & Papas... Babies R Us and a whole bunch of others have made their money over the years! Chalk one more up for the power of the big corporate (vs. the little man)!

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