THE BLOG

Daddy Diaries Part 9

So this is what a natural birth looks like. This is how it was meant to be... this is what the midwife meant when she said it was all natural... no medication, no support, no help, nothing... just pure unadulterated pain!!!
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"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH".... "Goodness me..... Goodness, goodness... more air... more gas..... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... how much longer is this going to take.... Goodness.... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... more air.... Don't leave me sweetie; hold my hand..... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... I can't do this anymore... there's too much pain... I can't take it any more... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... when is this going to end..... come on baby, help mommy here... it's time to come out... AHHHHHHHHHH.... I can't take it... it's too much pain.... Help me... goodness... goodness.... AAAHHHHHHHHH" This is what was being yelled out in shrieks and screams. I wondered if our neighbors could hear us; I wondered if they cared... (much later, at the end of it all, the midwife would tell us that this was the most wholesome set of screams she had ever heard. "You cannot imagine the amount of obscenities I have heard in all my years; you really did manage to keep it clean", she told my wife).

So this is what a natural birth looks like. This is how it was meant to be... this is what the midwife meant when she said it was all natural... no medication, no support, no help, nothing... just pure unadulterated pain!!! And then my mind drifted off too... watching my wife there in so much pain I wondered how any single human can sustain so much pain; it's impossible; it's inhuman; it's sick... but nature is amazing and mankind's threshold for pain is even more remarkable... you know what your boundaries truly are at moments like these... and I definitely saw what my wife is capable of!! Kudos (not only to my wife but to every woman who has had to go through the process of childbirth! Really, hats off to all of you!)...

In the meantime, in this day and age of technology, everyone wants to know everything... everyone wants a minute by minute update... and I just want to throw my phone out. Family and friends who were far away and had no clue decided to ask about every detail... "can you please give us a minute by minute update", asked one. What?!!?!?!? Are you serious... "How are you doing? Can we facetime?" Oh my God... FaceTime? Now? How can you think that I am even in a position to chat or message, let alone FaceTime... "but I thought you were in the birth center... why labour ward?"... It's the same thing... does it matter? We are having a baby and it is coming soon... Does it matter which room we are in, as long as we are not in the Uber... I wanted to scream....

But if the classes had taught me anything it was that I was going to have to be the calm and reasonable one here and I was going to have to guide the entire process... or at least try and maintain some degree of sanity... Breathe... Breathe... Stay calm... Stay calm... I had to keep reminding myself. You are the master of your destiny here... you are in control!! Focus on what's important... your wife and the baby... so back to reality I go... the wife is still screaming and there is no baby yet!

As time ticks on, you start to worry and wonder... "Really, how much longer is this really going to take? I can't watch anymore..." I am sure if I had told my wife that then, she would have kicked my ass! "You can't watch anymore... that's your worry? Hello... in case you missed it, I am the one doing all the hard work here." Your best bet as the silent partner here is to do just that - to keep your mouth shut and just remain supportive. "You are doing great sweetie. Things are going well sweetie. You are almost there... We are getting near (you lie through your teeth)." But you are still worried and still wondering.

And then, it is almost six o'clock, your wife is still moaning and shouting, and you hear the first bit of news that cheers you up. The midwife exclaims, "You're doing well. We are getting close", and she's not lying this time... "I can see a bit of the head. No surprise there, but it is a full head of black hair I can see."... British sarcasm again! I guess if it was a blonde head, I would be worried.

"Say what! The head... Really? Already...! Yay!" I'm getting excited, but I'm also suddenly feeling a whole host of emotions run through me... It's confusing; it is overwhelming. I am going to be a dad; am I ready for it? Will I be a good parent? How will the little fellow look? How will he turn out? Will he be a stubborn little fellow? Obedient? How do we discipline him? Will my wife be OK....

So many thoughts running through my head only and the guy isn't even out yet. It would be another 59 minutes before the rest of the little fellow made his way out into the world. A few more screams, several prolonged and hard pushes from my wife and a lot of support from the midwife ensured that the baby came out safe and sound. At precisely 6.59p on the 16th of May, Baby Kian made his appearance in the world. In true dramatic fashion and one of a star, he came out with his hand covering his face to ensure that no one got a glimpse of his beauty. "No photos please", he was almost saying. "Awww... he's a cutie. Would you like to hold him? Will you cut the cord?", the midwife asked me. At this moment, seeing the first glimpses of Baby Kian, I was overwhelmed. I didn't know what to do. I kissed my wife and hugged her. "Well done; you did great. He is finally here!" I remember telling her. I took the little fellow from the midwife and held him close to me in one hand, and with the other, I cut his cord. He was here, and he was now his own little person.

All this while, I didn't even realize that I had tears running down my cheeks. It had been an emotional and overwhelming day. I had just sat there and watched, and now finally holding my son had unleashed this wave of emotion. I wasn't embarrassed, I wasn't sad; I was just delighted. He wasn't even two hours old and he was already pulling at the strings of my heart... If this is what is in store for the next many years, then I was ready... Bring it on Kian! After all, "who's your daddy!"