Dads, Daughters, Cars, and Careers

Dads, Daughters, Cars, and Careers
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I’ll let you in a little secret about me – I’m a planner. But not so much that I cannot be inspired to shift gears.

I had originally intended to write a column for Fathers’ Day about how important dads are in influencing girls to pursue technology-related careers. But then Audi went ahead and did a much better job than I could have done on my own.

“Wait,” you say? “When did Audi chime in on women in technology?”

Only on one of this country’s biggest stages: the Super Bowl! One of the more thought provoking ads from this year’s big game was an Audi commercial championing gender pay equality. While some have chosen to obfuscate the rather moving message by calling out the company for the makeup of its Board, I’m choosing to go the other way - to use the ad in application across bigger and broader ideals.

What struck me most about the ad was how thoughtful the father was in deciding how to tell his daughter that the world undervalues women in relation to men. Beyond just fair compensation, I think the intent was to communicate the unfairness of discounting a female’s ability to contribute meaningfully to the world around her in nontraditional ways.

This hit home because I see and hear the same thing from the dads that bring their girls to our TechGirlz events. Many of these fathers are in the tech industry themselves and are so grateful that someone else is inspiring their daughters to pursue similar passions. They know that – while nontraditional – a career or interest in this field can be empowering, enlightening and financially rewarding. They also understand that girls are at a disadvantage because of a lack of a role model or path to the industry. Many of them ask us to continue reinforcing this message for their daughters and to reach out to other girls.

My reply is always that the message should start at home. If fathers or male role models are present and engaged, then they should not feel at a disadvantage because of their gender. Oftentimes, these men can have an outsize impact on their girls’ impressions of gender roles.

So inspired by Audi, I’m accelerating my timeline and writing this piece now. Hopefully, it can help the dads and role models out there struggling with how to engage girls on discussions of gender in society and business. With that in mind, here are five things they can do or consider when they talk to their girls (or avoid doing so) about their future success and opportunities.

Dads Matter

Like another dreaded “talk,” many dads assume that mothers are better suited to talk about gender inequality and goal-setting. To the contrary, there have been several studies conducted over the last few years that demonstrate the impact of dads on their daughters. A father’s views on gender attitudes and his relationship with his daughter can directly influence a girl’s perception of her own gender value and eventual career choice. One study even shows that dads influence their daughters’s understanding of gender roles more than moms.

Be Present

Girls are human. They often need a shoulder to cry on, a handclap to congratulate them, or a well-timed word to inspire them. When those come from a dad, it can make all the difference. Studies show that daughters whose dads have been supportive throughout their childhood, encouraged their assertiveness and confidence, and that have promoted their achievements - both academic and athletic - are more likely to graduate from college into higher paying jobs and into fields traditionally dominated by men.

Seek Inspiration

Not all girls want to pursue a career in technology. Some may want to become physicians, others archaeologists. Whatever their interest, it’s not important that a dad or male role model share their passion or have a similar career. What is important for these men is to help girls explore the things they love. Join us for a TechGirlz TechShop, take them to the museum, visit a job fair, or staff a booth at a Maker event. Help a girl to see beyond her world today in new and novel ways.

Encourage Self-Reliance

Daughters will no doubt face tough obstacles on their climb into and through adulthood. This is especially true for those that look beyond traditional career borders. While a good father helps his children make their way in life, an exceptional father or role model understands that these challenges can build character. From our experience in TechGirlz, we know that girls are up to the task. By giving them support but allowing them to fail and learn, or overcome and succeed, dads allow their daughters to blossom into self-confident leaders.

Lead by Example

In researching for this column, one study stood out to me. It demonstrated that dads who performed their fair share of household chores helped influence their daughters to choose less stereotypical careers. This is my favorite lesson because it shows that even the small actions can have big impact. So whether you’re supporting your daughter’s desire to drive a race car or solve quadratic equations, something as seemingly insignificant as picking up a dishtowel or turning on the vacuum can inspire her.

In puzzling over how dads can internalize and act on these, I think of own childhood as an example. In our very traditional household, my father worked long hours and my mother remained at home. I did not have a female role model that worked outside the home. But my dad recognized my interests and made deliberate choices to nurture them. He would even invite one of his female co-workers to family dinners to provide me with an example of a career woman. I remain forever in his debt because of this simple act of love.

And so this Valentine’s Day, perhaps the greatest demonstration of a father’s love for his daughter is to acknowledge her passion, support her interests, and make her feel truly appreciated and valued.

And then you can do it again on Father’s Day…

(Editor’s note: I am not writing this to the exclusion of mothers, but I’m focusing on dads and men only in this column because they are often overlooked in this role)

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