Once you have a handful of years of marriage under your belt, date nights start looking a little different and happening with less frequency. Changes may include different attire (yoga pants), different venues (the couch) and different topics of conversation (the Costco shopping list).
Below, we’ve gathered 17 funny tweets that sum up the reality of date night as a husband or wife.
My husband asked if I wanted to go on a date & then we laughed & laughed & went to Costco.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 22, 2018
wife & I started scheduling date night between midnight & 7am, we just sleep the whole time, but at least we’re doing something together— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) August 11, 2018
Last night I had a date night with my husband, and it was great to talk about what groceries we need, how our physical bodies are deteriorating and the acceptable ways to fold shit in a completely different setting which also cost us money— Healthy Living for Hot Messes (@HLFHM) July 28, 2018
Me after date night with Hubs: Ugh, I’m going to change into something more comfortable— Housy Wife (@wife_housy) March 25, 2018
*takes off going-out yoga pants, puts on staying-in yoga pants
My husband and I shouted at the kids to go back to bed at the same time and that’s the closest we’ve come to a date night in weeks.— MotherPlaylist (@MotherPlaylist) September 13, 2018
Me: We should have a date night next weekend.— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) December 12, 2016
Wife: A babysitter will cost $150.
Me: We should have a date night when the kids move out.
[kids gone for the evening]— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) October 16, 2017
wife: DATE NIGHT???
me: DATE NIGHT!!!
[we fall asleep watching 60 minutes]
i'll have the chicken finger platter & my lovely wife will have— Mr. Peel (@Rlpihl) November 19, 2015
*hands over coupon
something of equal or lesser value
DATING: I thought it was sad when I’d see a married couple at a restaurant not talking.— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) February 19, 2018
MARRIED: We carry on an entire conversation about the couple on a date at the table next to us using only our eyebrows.
Friday nights...— Will Rodgers (@WilliamRodgers) September 12, 2015
Single: I'm going to the bar!
Dating: Wanna go to the bar?
Married: Can I go to the bar?
Married w/ Kids: Pottery Barn?
Me getting ready for date night:— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 5, 2018
Shower, make dinner for kids, try to put make up on, get kid a snack, try to put make up on again, do my hair, referee sibling fight, get dressed.
Sits in a chair & asks why I’m not ready yet.
[First Date]— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) September 24, 2017
I hope he brings me somewhere nice
[9 yr anniversary]
DID YOU USE THE CASH BACK ON DINING CARD? WHERE'S THE COUPON I GAVE YOU
You know date night was extra lit when you end up shopping the clearance section at target— Caleb McDonald (@squeeeeeak) June 25, 2017
My husband and I are going to dinner tonight and when we finished getting ready he was wearing shorts and a T-shirt and I am wearing a black dress.— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) August 11, 2018
Tenses are important in this tweet.
Date night mostly consists of checking the time for when the kids should be in bed so we can go back home— Celeste Yvonne (@andwhatamom) July 26, 2017
Marriage is basically just texting each other "Idk" when asked about dinner until one of you finally says "fuck it, let's go to Chili's".— The Fantastic Mr.Fox (@Camel_Crushin) January 9, 2016