The year - 1992. The place 555 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY, 10017
The Players - Donald Trump, Dave Kanegis and two non-speaking body guards
I'll recount the remainder of our rendezvous at the end of this article. For now it will be most helpful to keep President Elect Trump in the back of your mind as we discuss 'Best Dating Practices.'
I write a lot about engaging in introspection, learning to respect and value yourself and only then to explore what you are looking for in a man. But does that consistently work?
I've always thought so, but then upon reflection I realized there may be some exceptions to the rule. Perhaps you don't need self reflection or to really identify the most important qualities in a potential mate.
I'll present the information and You Decide!
Let's assume you've read a few of my articles on Dating, performed some Mind Acrobatics™ exercises and feel ready to think about what qualities in a man are most important to you.
Below is a list in no particular order. Feel free to add whatever works for you.
The Ideal Mate
- good sense of humor
- dresses well
- makes me feel good about being a woman
- makes me feel good about being me
- treats me well
- buys me lots of baubles
- likes cats
- shares my values
- clean -- uses lots of hand wipes so he won't give me germs
- has been married before so not afraid of commitment
- filled with self- confidence
- enjoys the 3 Stooges
- good tipper
- looks that appeal to me
- great hair/bald
- lots of free time to spend with me
- has lots to do so he won't get in my way
- owns a few homes
- defies all odds, not afraid to go after what he wants
- likes children
- looks great in a hat
- likes the outdoors
- enjoys opera and museums
- loves old movies
- has nice, respectful friends
- likes dark chocolate, night time walks on the beach and reading the "failing" Sunday NY Times in bed while eating a bagel and lox
- enjoys travel
- keeps in shape
- is a homebody... may spend the day in another country but likes to sleep in his own bed
- has a plane
- can change the course of mighty rivers... see Corps of Engineers decisions
- takes great leaps at a single bound... builder to President... pretty impressive
- bend people to his will (for fear of followers retribution) with his mighty (small?) hands
- and who disguised as a mild - mannered businessman can create tall buildings filling them with foreign dignitaries paying rack prices
- And with great business acumen turns bad luck (mainly of others) from bankruptcy into an alleged fortune repeatedly
- is always right, 100% of the time (is that an oxymoron?)
- has a solid, strong, healthy ego
- will pay attention only to me for months at a time despite others who want to talk to him
- uses all available information to be knowledgeable about current events
Let's see if my hypothesis that identifying 10 qualities you want in a man will help ensure a positive dating experience.
Look at the list above and choose any (no limit) of the qualities that you think will lead to a great relationship.
Now let's agree that if you can find a man with ten of the above traits (that's really quite a lot) he will potentially make a great date or mate.
I am going to randomly pick 10 of the above. These are qualities that I know lots of my women friends look for. Remember, this may not apply to you. I'm just trying to verify that identifying desirable traits will infallibly lead to Mr. Right.
Here are 10 traits from the list of 53. Let's see if we've got a winner.
I have chosen #'s 2, 4, 17, 21, 22, 27, 28, 32, 40, 52,
My ideal man is:
has been married before so not afraid of commitment
owns a few homes
defies all odds - not afraid to go after what he wants,
uses all available information to be knowledgeable about current events
Now I'll toss in a couple more just to make it really strong:
- makes me feel good about myself
There you have it.
So, the question is... If you could go out with an affectionate man that makes you feel good about yourself and has all the 10 traits listed above, how do you think the date would turn out?
Let me help. Do at least 10 of the 12 qualities I've listed sound positive?
Sure they do.
Guess who fits them? Uh oh! Sorry to say he's married. But for $1,000,000 you can purchase a ticket to spend time with his friends the day after the 2017 inauguration. Wow, and he has been married three times, and we don't know if Melania is moving to Washington. So there may be hope!!
What do you think? Will you have success if you arbitrarily decide upon a list of characteristics that sound good and expect a date will turn out well?
My thoughts... you must prioritize what characterisics are most important to you and what are secondary. Finally a list of 'no-starts' the people with characteristics and values that you will never accept no matter how good or appealing the wrapping.
To accomplish all of this you need to perform the inside your head introspection that allows you to first be comfortable with the real you. Then hone in on just a few truly important qualities that appeal to you and will lead to a healthy partnership.
I hope you enjoyed this light hearted exercise. It was really designed to emphasize just how important self-knowledge can be. On the other hand... sometimes you just have to throw out the rules. You just never know.
Now The Rest Of The Story.
We left Dave Kanegis and Donald Trump in NYC. It was late afternoon. I entered the elevator and lo and behold there were three individuals inside.
We all rode down in silence.
I recognized Donald Trump from seeing him on the floor of the Trump Taj Mahal. In those days he was with Marla Maples and I was an outside contractor to the property.
We alighted the elevator, went through the doors and Donald and his minions turned left and stopped as they waited for their driver.
My work for the Trump Taj Mahal had been the most profitable of any client. They didn't try to negotiate my price and they paid in full. I guess they were really awed by my presence:)
I introduced myself to Donald and explained all the work I had done for his casino. He replied, "That's interesting," and turned his back on me. It's the last I ever saw of him personally.
I dedicate this article to my editor Shelley Emling. Had she not had the foresight to turn a complaining question into a suggestion of blogging, I would not have begun publishing articles on the Internet. Thanks Shelley.