How To Overcome Your Fears About Dating After 50

Here are my four steps to break though the fear and self doubt you may be feeling about dating again at this time in your life.

1. Take a No-Excuses Approach

Although some call them reasons, you could be stopping yourself from finding Mr. Right by using excuses.

Great guys are everywhere. Yet when you're not sure what to do or how to handle the dating issues that come up, you make and use excuses that ultimately keep you from moving forward towards your dream of having a good man in your life.

Some of the biggest excuses I hear are... "There's no good men left out there to date," "I'm too busy to date," "No time to date," "All men are jerks," and the list goes on.

You may want to date but in reality, it feels safer to stay single so you use these excuses as your trap door; your escape route.

To get the right guy into your life, you've got to be willing to let go of the excuses and get yourself online or out in the real world meeting men.

This is the way you can find the one who is a good fit for you.

Ask yourself how badly you want a companion in your life. You either have excuses or you have results. Which do you choose?

2. Feel the Fear -- But Do It Anyway

Your ego creates fear to keep you safe.

Just thinking about dating, you may have felt fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, fear of being humiliated, a fear of making mistakes, fear a man might not like you, fear of the unknown, just to name a few.

Most single women I know experience fear.

What separates the women who get the guys from those who allow their fears to hold them back is a willingness to date in spite of the fears they may be feeling.

The best way for you to get over your dating fears is to walk directly into them.

Let yourself feel them. Ask the fear what it's trying to tell you. Then journal or meditate on the answers you hear.

It takes courage to do this -- courage I see my private clients show every day when they put themselves in the vulnerable position of meeting and getting to know new men, even though they are shaking in their boots as they do it.

Actually, walking into fear is never as bad as you think it's going to be. And if you allow yourself to feel the fears versus resisting the fear, what you might get is a great guy in your life.

Imagine that.

3. Be Willing to Go Out of Your Comfort Zone

Most of us avoid discomfort like it's the plague, and yet it's the best way to grow and get what you want in life.

It can be scary but usually you only feel uncomfortable for a short period of time.

Here's a great mantra that will help you...

I am ready to date. I am willing to find and meet new men even when I feel uncomfortable. I know uncomfortable equals growth and growth equals achieving my dreams of finding the man I want to share my life with.

4. Take Dating Action

It would be nice if you could just make a wish and Mr. Right would show up on your doorstep. Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way.

You will have to take some type of action to find him. Staying at home with your cat or your favorite TV show or all of the work you need to catch up on isn't going to get you to the man you want.

Getting online, smiling and flirting with men in the real world, asking your friends and family to keep their eyes open for a good guy ... these are the surest ways of making your dreams of finding a good man come true.

Lisa Copeland is known as the expert on over 50's dating. She's the best-selling author of The Winning Dating Formula For Women Over 50. Her mission is to help as many women around the world as she can discover how to have fun dating and finding their Mr. Right after 50. To learn more, visit

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