A recent study conducted by the UK's Marriage Foundation revealed a surprising statistic: although 45 percent of marriages end in divorce, only 31 percent of second marriages fail. This got me thinking. As a 30-something, single gal looking to settle down, perhaps I have been searching down the wrong path? Maybe the assumption that divorced equals baggage is contradictory to the actual truth of the matter. I pondered this article for quite some time and ultimately decided that perhaps divorced men do, in fact, make better boyfriends. Here's why:
1. He won't want to fail again. Remember the episode of "Friends" when Ross' neurosis hits an all-time high at the prospect of a second (and then a third) divorce? This fear can serve as a strong motivator to get it right the second time around. I would venture to guess that men are more willing to do the work and keep their relationships strong, fulfilling and everlasting.
2. He's learned from his mistakes. Relationships are learning experiences and when one endures the finality of divorce, he is forced to reflect upon his actions. Perhaps he learned to listen more or spend less time at the office and has since changed his ways. This may be too late for the relationship in question, but it bodes well for the next woman in his life.
3. He is open to commitment. I have dated my fair share of eligible bachelors over the last year who ran at the teensiest sign of commitment. My latest mishap, Mr. Smooth, got antsy committing to a Saturday night, so I venture to guess that settling down for the rest of his life is a bit out of the question. Needless to say, our courtship was short-lived but the fear of meeting man after man who is sewing his oats throughout his thirties stayed with me. A divorced man is, at his core, most likely open to marriage and commitment which is vital for a healthy and happy relationship.
Disclaimer: I urge all you single ladies out there to give divorced men a chance. After all, their experiences may enhance your own relationship. However, proceed with caution if the divorce is fairly recent. A meaningful relationship with a man who has learned from his mistakes is one thing; serving as someone’s rebound from a hurtful experience is quite another.