Ladies, in my last article, 8 Dating Turnoffs Men Over 50 Should Stop Doing, I shared what turns you off most about men on a first date. Now it's your turn to hear what men have to say. After speaking with a lot of men over 50, I've come up with these top 10 turnoffs you might be doing.
#1. Men Want To Meet The Real You
Ladies, we've been sold a bill of goods when it comes to shape-enhancing undergarments. Yes they'll make you look 10 pounds lighter if they don't cut your circulation off first. But men aren't too happy when they end up in bed with a woman who has a totally different body from the one that's been showing up on dates together. It's false advertising.
You want a man who's going to like you exactly how you are -- and you can have that by always showing up as the real you both online and in person.
#2. Don't Complain About The Men In Your Life
Even if it was a bad last date or your ex did something really stupid that day. A man hates when a woman shows up on a date and the first words out of her mouth involve some type of "male bashing." Why? He thinks you'll do the same thing to him after your date. If you love being labeled a Drama Queen, keep talking trash about men. But if it's a second date you want with a nice man, do yourself a favor and process your stories about men with your female friends, not with other men.
#3. Post Current Pictures Of Yourself Online
This should be an obvious one for both sexes. Be sure to post a current picture, as in less than a year old. This includes posting one of your face and your full body. Men have caught on to women who've posted pictures of only their faces. They know you're hiding something from them, and aren't you?
I know you have a great personality and I understand you're probably thinking, "If he'll just meet me and get to know me, he'll really like me." That would be nice but that's not how it works.
When you post pictures that don't represent who you are, he thinks you're a liar. No man wants to start a relationship with someone who lies. You don't either.
By the way, this goes for age too! If you're 60, stop trying to pass for a 50 year old. There are plenty of men who will be interested in dating you just as you are.
#4. A Man Doesn't Want You Making Him Your Pet Project
Even though you may hate a man's lifestyle, most men really do like themselves and the way they live. It bugs a man to be told how he has to change something about himself to fit into your life. Either like him how he is or move on.
#5. You May Be Proud Of What A Strong, Independent Woman You Are But Don't Flaunt This To An Over 50's Man!
Yes, you've done a great job being "super woman" and it's hard to give it up but if you want an over 50's man in your life, you'd better find space for him and give him the ability to feel needed by taking care of things for you.
When it comes to showing you love, men often give it in the form of actions, not words. When he doesn't feel you need him, he'll move on to someone who does. Decide what's more important to you -- being "super woman" and doing it all yourself or being a woman who can accept help from a man.
#6. Stay Off Your Cell Phone During A Date
Men hate competing with your iPhone for your attention. I know there are times your phone is more entertaining than your current date but texting friends while you're with a man is just plain rude.
You may love your phone but it can't snuggle with you at night or comfort you after a bad day. The man in front of you could be the one who can, so put the phone away for an hour. You just might be glad you did.
#7. Don't Drink Too Much On A First Date
Pounding down one martini after another makes a man think you either have a drinking problem or he's a bad date. It also impairs your judgment, which leads to #8.
#8. Watch What You Wear And Do On A First Date
If you're looking to hook up on a first date, that's fine. Just don't expect this to lead to a real relationship; no matter how good you are! Also beware of wearing clothing that reveals too much of "the girls" or any other part of your body. If you do, don't get upset when he takes a long, hard look at what you're displaying.
#9. Be Kind To Men Who Write You Online
They put themselves out there even more than you do and women are constantly rejecting them. Even when you feel you're not a fit, at least thank him for writing you, let him know you don't have enough in common and then wish him luck on his dating journey. If we were all nicer to each other online, it would make dating so much easier.
#10. Appreciate, Appreciate and Appreciate Some More Whatever He Does For You
Always appreciate a man. Yes, I know you'd like him to do the same for you and maybe he will if you start first. But I guarantee if you don't, he'll never do another thing for you. A thank you and a couple of meaningful "I appreciate you" comments go a long way in dating and relationships toward getting your needs met by your partner.
Okay, ladies, it's your turn now to let me know how you feel about these. My post about male turn offs really struck a chord -- or perhaps a nerve -- with some of the men who commented. I'd love to hear what you think of both lists.
Lisa Copeland is the Dating Coach who makes dating over 50 fun and easy. Find out more and download her free report, 5 Secrets To Finding A Quality Man, at www.FindAQualityMan.com.
Earlier on Huff/Post50:
