Dear Black Women, Holding Gay Men Accountable For Their Misogyny Does Not Make You Homophobic

Gay men, too, are occasionally the beneficiaries of male privilege, and that privilege must be deconstructed.

Like Nicky from Orange is the New Black once said, “gay people can be as*holes, too.” Black women, you must hold homosexual men accountable for their contribution to systematic sexism; that does not make you homophobic.

This morning, I stumbled across a troubling tweet, which instantly annoyed me. It was a one-minute-long video of a feisty, ostentatious gay male verbally abusing, then physically assaulting, a Black woman who was defenselessly sitting in a chair and holding a baby in her arms.

The video instantly became viral, with over 800,000 views and over 8,000 likes. Each response ― a perfect embodiment of controversy ― varied, instigating several important discussions; however, the most critical discussion never happened. That conversation should have started like this: gay men are equally as sexist and abusive as straight men, and it’s not homophobic to reveal that.

Many people, apparently his Black woman followers, made light of the situation. Some laughed, and some expressed their disgruntlement at his actions; but still, that conversation never happened.

Hours later, heterosexual black men expressed their outrage at the video; however, it was not focused on the abuser. Instead, they were slamming Black women for not sharing an analogous anger as they would if the aggressor was not a homosexual man.

These are some of the tweets:

It’s true; straight men are often under fire for doing and saying things a gay man would get away with. This is a double standard that further promotes misogyny.

Undoubtedly, gay men are victims of homophobia, but that does and never will count as a justification for misogyny.

As Georgetown University’s law professor, Preston Mitchum, said: “Being a part of any dominant group when it comes to race, gender, sexuality, etc. contributes to the oppression of other groups.” The most dominant demographic in this world is certainly cisgender men. According to the United Nations’ world population prospect, “of 1,000 people, 504 are men (50.4 percent) and 496 are women (49.6 percent).”

Moreover, being a cisgender man ― gay or not ― means one naturally benefits from the systematic oppression of women. Whether it’s financial gain or simply having a greater advantage, all men benefit from the patriarchy, making us innately sexist.

Gay men certainly benefit from the oppression of women, but this is typically viewed as a comedy. This happens so often that we forget about the woman ― often an African American woman ― being humiliated. For example, this homosexual man verbally abused a plus-sized Black woman as she drove a transit bus. He recorded the entire altercation as he taunted her. “You look like a fat, stuffed turkey,” the man said after repeatedly calling her a b*tch. This video gained over 1 million views on and over 300,000 views on his YouTube channel. That’s over 1.3 million people watching a man brutishly humiliate a Black woman.

Also, many homosexual celebrity bloggers would not have jobs without sexist rhetoric. Perez Hilton, for instance, is worth $30 million. Unlike many sexist men, the blogger indirectly admits that it’s his job to be sexist. “I’m a celebrity blogger. It’s my job,” he normally says. Perez is notorious for pitting women against each other and was under fire in 2013 for allegedly harassing Lady Gaga in her New York City apartment building.

In any case, every woman and man (regardless of their sexuality) should call out misogyny all the time ― not only when the bigot is heterosexual. And straight Black men, it’s your job to debunk and destroy all sexist mindsets, starting with your own.

Therefore, when discussing how men are trash, please don’t forget to include us.