According to a recent study by the Pew Research Center last year, 26% of 18- to 34-year-olds have moved back home with their parents after living on their own. They are referred to as Boomerangers.
Boomerangers have increased among the millennial generation as we have more pressure to go to college and move out. However at the same time, millennials (especially those in or recently out of college) struggle to find jobs and find themselves unable to afford a place of their own.
I'm a boomeranger.
I did the "right" thing. I finished high school, got into college, and moved out at age 18. I worked. I had my own apartment with my roommates. I paid bills and did my taxes.
I started my own life, then I watched it crash.
After years of overpaying for rent and covering for irresponsible roommates, my bank account started sinking fast. I lost my good office job. And people who I thought were friends have slammed their doors right in my face.
I now live on my mother's couch, unemployed and going broke. I feel as if I have taken two steps back.
That everything I worked for didn't matter. That I screwed up my life.
Worst of all, I've been so depressed that I can't seem to write anything. Which I know may not seem to like a big deal. But considering I've pretty much dedicated my life to being a writer and writing is really the only "skill" I have, not being able to write anything means I have screwed up my life even more.
I wish could turn this into a pep talk.
But I can't do that. In fact, as a Boomeranger, I don't want to hear another pep talk about "hope" and "bouncing back".
Because it's 1:30 a.m. and I'm crying my eyes out.
And you know what as a boomeranger, I should be allowed to cry. We all should be allowed to have good cry.
I'm not talking about whining. Whining would be ungrateful to the opportunities we were privileged to have.
Whining would be ungrateful to the parents we were lucky to have who opened their homes to us once again.
We don't need to whine, we need to cry.
Our whole lives we are taught not to cry. Crying makes you weak. Crying makes you a loser. And especially if you're a woman, crying makes you ugly.
I'm the ugliest cryer. When I cry my face gets puffy and my nose produces rivers of snot. Once I start crying and I can't stop...so I cry more. Crying in front of people is most embarrassing thing to me , whether it's with my best friend, my mother or my cat.
Moving back in with my family is also an embarrassing thing. I can't shake off that I'm ashamed of moving back, even knowing that it is not uncommon. I have failed as an adult and I should be ashamed. But I starting to think I shouldn't be embarrassed to cry about it. I shouldn't be embarrassed to release my emotions when I'm going through a rough time.
It's crazy but it's cheaper than therapy and easier than yoga.
Tears are like our mind's natural way of draining itself. Crying is a way we can let out the anger, the pain, and sadness. We can let go of our shame and embarrassment. And once we allow ourselves to cry it out, our heads become clear. Which may just be the first step to feeling better.
So if you ended up living on your mother's couch at 1:30 a.m., take a moment for yourself. Don't keep it bottled up . Free yourself.
Cry your eyes out.