Warning: This article contains images of a man rubbing paint onto breasts under the pretense of art. Proceed with caution.
"Hot girl nipples make surprisingly good paintbrushes" is the title of the New York Post's quick video feature on Daniel Gill, professional rubber of paint onto women's boobs.
As creepy as the it sounds, words can't quite communicate as powerfully as this image of Gill "in the studio."
If you are curious as to the particulars of Gill's artistic process, the New York Post describes it in full, and I will explain it to you now. First, he puts paint on women's boobs. You with me? Then, he presses said boobs against a canvas. The end. Day of hard work complete.
The resulting images resemble (drumroll please...) a paint-colored boob smushed against a canvas! Think a toddler's finger painting, but made by a 54-year-old man, with any resulting sense of giddy, creative innocence replaced with a sad stomach ache and an instinctive ew.
Boobies are fun. Many people likes boobs. And if you can find someone to offer up a breast to smear with paint, all the more power to you. But please don't refer to whatever adolescent fantasy you're living out as art. Not when too many women artists, regardless of age or experience, have been silenced, judged, censored and criticized for folding their own bodies into their work in ways that are challenging, thought provoking and unorthodox. Not when nude art created by women is deemed narcissistic, frivolous, pornographic or grotesque.
Not when you're clearly not even trying, dude. At least draw a little flower around the nipple or something.