Dear Grilled Cheese

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Note: Plz read in James Earl Jones' voice

Dear Grilled Cheese,

Hey, how's it going? Haha same. Seen any good movies lately? What do you think of Adele's new album (let's talk offline)?

But that's enough of the small chit-chat. It's time to get MTV real world with you.

How's this?

True Life: I would marry grilled cheese. Like, literally I would start a family with a grilled cheese sandwich, idc.

K I know what you're thinking, "Two MTV references back to back?!" YEAH, IDGAF.

I don't want to be too forward, but I'm a big fan of yours, and have been for quite some time now. I'm familiar with all your work. I loved you in "Lunch on Saturday, May 3rd 2004" and I still haven't forgotten your performance in "I'm too lazy to actually cook something."

I bet you get letters like these allll the time, I'm sure it gets annoying, everyone praising you for your unparralled convenience and your impressive versatility, but I'm thankful for everything you've done for me and it's about time I let you know.

Like a bad yearbook picture, you've been with me through every stage of my life.

Who was there for me when I was going to see Rugrats Vacation in theaters, but I was running late and still wanted to eat lunch? Grilled cheese. Who was there for me when I wanted to get rid of that sharp cheddar cheese in my fridge, but didn't want to use it in an omelet? GC. And, of course, who could forget that one night in college when we tried to build a moat entirely of grilled cheese around our house. Lol, do you remember how mad the neighbors were?

But what exactly is it about your melty goodness that keeps me coming back -- that comforts me -- that let's me know everything is going to be okay even though Zayn left One Direction and Donald Trump's support is rising?

Could it be the nostalgia? Like many, from a young age, I was introduced to you by my parents. I still remember the first time we met, how you looked at me. We were at the kitchen table, just me, you and reruns of Saved By The Bell. We loved watching that show together. (Shout out Zack Morris.)

Maybe it's your ingredients. So simple, yet so exquisite (didn't even have to Google how to spell that). Who would have expected that bread and cheese would be a better duo than Kobe/Shaq, than PB&J, than Snooki and The Jersey Shore? Certainly not me.

Let's not overlook your beautiful simplicity, though. You realize that life is short and it's important to make each moment count. You understand that I have Netflix to binge watch. You know that I have to take naps in order to function. You get the fact that I have a life, and you support my independence -- unlike so many other foods. (Yes, I'm looking at you, meat that has to be defrosted.) You're the definition of low-maintence.

Hey, are you a photographer? Because you always make me smile even if I don't want to.

Btw, how's everyone else in the sandwich family doing? Is BLT still in school? Are you and Philly Cheesesteak finally on speaking terms again? Is Reuben still in rehab? LMK.

Anyways, I know we haven't hung out a lot lately; I've been busy with work; you've been busy being an inanimate object that can't talk -- we both have our flaws. But I'm going to change that. I promise. After all, you're more than just a couple pieces of bread with some slices of cheese (bacon, tomato, avocado, etc.) you're a symbol for everything good in life. You're the reason why I get out of bed in the morning in addition to a million other things.

You're the "waking up and realizing you still have hours to sleep" of food, the Beatles of sandwiches, you will be my first dance at my wedding. I wanted to be an astronaut but decided against it because long distance. I voted for you in the 2012 election. Beyoncé is jealous of the attention you get. Sometimes instead of watching Modern Family I just stare at you for 30 minutes. I feel like it's not a stretch to say that Bill Withers wrote "Lean On Me" about you.

What I'm trying to say is, on behalf of the world/universe (I can only assume alines also like grilled cheese), thank you for being you. Thank you for being delicious. Thank you for being everything food should be. In a world full of change, you remain a constant.

Jon