Dear Kate Hudson: Please Stop Wearing Wigs In Mediocre Movies

I'm going to get right to the point. Can you please stop wearing really ugly wigs in your relatively mediocre movies?
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Editor's note: We first posted this in late July, back when Kate Hudson was still dating Lance Armstrong and before he was expecting a baby with another woman. We just thought it would be fun to re-post this plea on the opening day of her new movie "Bride Wars," for which she again committed the very crime we discuss below.

Dear Kate Hudson,

Now that you won't be spending all your time playing tennis with Lance Armstrong, I thought you might have time to consider something that's been bothering me for quite a while. I'll get straight to the point: can you please stop wearing really ugly wigs in your relatively mediocre movies?

Don't get me wrong. I'm a fan. A huge fan actually. I own Almost Famous (which is kind of a big deal, since the only other movie I own is Labyrinth), think that How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days was kind of genius, and I'm pretty sure I was conned into buying Mukluks because of a photo of you wearing them with a grey hoodie. If that doesn't make me a fan, then I don't really know what else there is to say.

But here's the thing, you seem like a pretty cool girl, and I generally place you high on the list of famous people that I think I could actually be friends with (see: Jennifer Aniston, Natalie Portman, and yes, Kirsten Dunst). Also, your little brother went to my high school and I know that either you or your mom wore ripped jeans to his graduation ceremony and that it did not go over well with some of the parents, but I secretly applauded you for it and so I kind of feel like we have a connection. (Do I sound like a stalker yet?)

So. I really think you should listen to me and take my word for it when I say that the wigs are not doing anything for you. In fact, they kind of make you look terrible. And trust me, if there's one thing I know how to do, it's judge people by their hair.

You have really pretty hair. You're an A-List actress. Heck, your mom is an A-List actress. I think it's about time you start standing up for yourself.

There is no need for the wigs. If the bigwigs (pun probably intended) tell you to to go brunette, just dye your hair brown. And if, for some reason, you don't want to dye your hair brown, then don't dye it brown. You're an actress, tell them you'll act like a brunette. (From one blonde to another, it's totally easy -- just act less fun! Oh, and more smart.) Same goes for short hair, bangs, and book-ish bobs.

Oh, and one more thing. Although I'm really looking forward to all of your new movies (four!), and even though I know I shouldn't be, I have to admit, I'm mildly perturbed that you're starring in a movie called "Bride Wars". Oh well, I know how it is; pick your battles, a paycheck's a paycheck, etc, et al. Just don't wear a wig.*

Yours Faithfully,

Verena von Pfetten

*Like this one...

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