The other day I was driving to the post office, my typical morning routine. We get up, eat breakfast, send Daddy out the door and then drive to check the PO Box for packages. I was in a mega hurry this time because I had a meeting I had to be to. So I grabbed the little one out of her car seat, ran inside to grab our packages and then came back outside. As I was trying to balance two packages in hand and a 15 month old in the other I watched a late teens/early twenty year old girl pull into the spot next to me. The side where the car seat sat. I didn't think much of it until I got a little further out the door. She was driving a pretty big jeep, blasting her music, thought she was bitchin' and well...literally might as well have parked sideways in the spot. She was WAY over the line, left me an inch, MAYBE two between her car and mine. I stood there, she climbed out of her car and I said "Can you please re-park?" I was honestly trying to be on my best behavior because what I really wanted to say was some not so nice words. Well...guys, she laughed. She literally laughed at me and walked inside. Which left me to have to put my baby in through the entirely opposite side of the car and struggle with the entire thing. I was livid. Seriously so mad, but I bit my tongue and just handled it.
Why? Why didn't I say anything?
Trust me, I wanted to. I wanted to storm back inside the post office and tell her how extremely rude she was and let Mama bear come out. Here's the thing though, what would that have solved? Probably nothing. I was that age once. Not too long ago actually. I know that it would have gotten me absolutely no where. So I left. I drove to my meeting, cooled down and pushed it out of my mind.
Here's the thing though -- it got me thinking. Thinking about the fact that one day that girl who thought she was bitchin', hot and too cool for school will probably be a Mom. She will walk around with spit up on her shirt, a top knot and yesterday's make up. She will understand what it's like to run on 2 hours of sleep and still have to take care of an entire days work plus a baby.
At first, I thought, "HA!", she's in for a friggin' treat. Good luck!
Then it hit me hard that, holy crap. That was me. No--I was not that bad. Seriously I would have NEVER intentionally been rude like that. In fact, I experienced some hardcore bullying as a teenager. BUT I did think I was hot stuff. I thought I was cooler than school and I knew absolutely EVERYTHING. Didn't we all?
So a letter, a letter to my younger self and to all the "cool" teenage girls. JUST STOP.
Quit thinking you know everything. I promise you, you don't. At all. One day you're going to wake up, look in the mirror and think shooooot. You'll have bags under your eyes, yesterday's clothes still on, your hair will be flat and lifeless and you'll have the same (most amazing) man sleeping in your bed as the last several years. Here's the kicker though--you'll be happy. You'll be SO happy.
You don't have life figured out yet, you live one day at a time and don't have a care in the world. That's not life. Life is rough. It requires sacrifices, it requires tears, hard work and sleepless nights. You won't be able to sleep in until 12 forever, your (future) kids WON'T listen to you like you think they will and one day you'll probably accidentally take your bank account negative. It's life lessons and they hit hard.
Your Mom and Dad actually do know what's best for you because they've been through it firsthand. Grades actually do matter because that's what is going to give you a better future. AND third, being a decent human being to those around you, especially your elders is far more important than you realize. So stop gossiping now, quit worrying about things that don't matter and let the drama go. All that you're doing right now shapes you into the person that you're going to be for the rest of your life. So if you're acting like a 'B' right now, you'll most likely continue down that path forever.
SO END it NOW.
Be nice, help those around you, make a difference and don't worry about what other people think. You might think your friends from high school are the most important people in the world (and a couple might be), but the rest of them you won't talk to ever again after high school. You don't need to buy $300 jeans with your student loan money or drive the nicest cars around. In fact I'll let you in on a little secret, those that DIDN'T do that, can now. Why? Because they don't have student loan debt and $10,000 in credit card debt. Be smart. Date nice guys. If he cheats on you once, he will do it again and you don't want to deal with that in a marriage or worse, with kids. Choose the nice guys over the cool ones. Study hard and work your A off and it will pay off. Don't give into peer pressure and stick to your values, what's important you -- whatever that might be, do it. It's not worth changing for anyone! Be your true self.
Learn to love yourself now, be kind to others and always do the right thing and be honest. And finally, don't block a Mom in a parking spot forcing her to load her kid in her car seat through the opposite door. ;)
Love,
A Mom
via Positively Oakes
Photo via Angela Minnick Photography