Dear Mom Part Deux

Dear Mom Part Deux,

Rob and are back from our South American cruise and it is hard to adjust from someone serving you three gourmet meals a day plus desserts and hosting you in to new countries and sights daily to the realities of having your car washed (and detailed here in Los Angeles which is as de rigeur as getting streaks in your hair!), raking leaves, and seeing to three meals a day for yourself and my man, Mooster Rob, I wrote you about last time.

He has been lurking around the house like the big-eyed robust sea lions we saw in Chile waiting, like adored puppies, for the cast offs by the fisherman (who were very obliging by the way and served the sea lions heads and tails of their fresh catches!) and I'm not sure what to do with him. He's a busy guy working on his film but I think he wants to go on the daily tour or have breakfast together! His clothes are still here and he finally made it clear last night that he would like them to stay! "Stay?" I asked. "Would you like me to take them to the cleaners?"

"I was thinking that rather my paying rent and your paying a mortgage that my rent could go to your mortgage -- with no ownership on my part of course." Of course, I thought. This man, who wants to be your son-in-law, if you can still have such a thing from heaven, is proposing to live with me now that I have turned down his marriage proposal, believing it was too soon. (Me and my big mouth -- I told him that we had to get to know each other really well because I could never survive another divorce!)

He could not have been more sweet about it saying, "Whatever you want, sweetheart," as his sexy green eyes pierced my heart like one of those men on the cover of a romance novel that women swear they never even picked up. Even so, I know he must look like the hero - he's so handsome and has an "over-50" head of hair that would blow the Men's Hairhouse away! He really is a dream and has it together in the same breath -- a real fantasy with an everyman way!

On our cruise together, everywhere the Holland America ZanDaam took us down to and around Central and South America, Rob looked like a hero, as we careened on the bow of our scuba boat in Cabo San Lucas, as we stood on the stern of our ship and felt for cool Chilean wintery winds coming from the Antarctic (since the seasons are flipped), on our little ill-balanced scooter boat taking us around a heart-shaped island with more exotic birds than The Galapagos Islands, or while helping carry all my computers and cameras because of my bad back. I know I am objectifying him but it goes without saying that he is brilliant and kind or I wouldn't be with him in the first place!

Do you know that the man even indulged me by posing for photos for me? They have a Joe Craig photography studio on board that does these super artsy black and white photos and Rob is so shy -- but they broke through his shyness barriers and I even have an example of one. See? Isn't he handsome?

And they made him feel so warm and fuzzy for the shoot and then I stepped in at the end and danced with Rob while they shot us. It was so magical and such a memory that I may just treasure it along with all the other cruise passengers who bellied up (literally) to the lens' demands and went for it. "Life is short; live it." That's what you taught me. Especially with Dad and his WWII injury which severely cut down on fun time! But I love Dad for being a hero in it. I am proud he fought against Hitler and prevailed. I think there is something to be said for those who perform military service and that we should all perform some sort of service toward bettering our country.

You and Dad had the romance of the century. Thanks, Mom if you had anything to do with Rob and I getting together. Remember when you were here and at UCLA told me that you hadn't had much luck fixing me up with "fellows you were meeting around UCLA who were mainly boring doctors?" And, that "if you got in to heaven, you would work on things from there?" We had a good sweet laugh about it!

I'm pretty sure you that once you did get there that you must have. And I thank you for that. I made the mistake of letting Mooster Rob read this and he was insulted by my calling him a sea lion because they are fat and that I didn't know what to do with him because it says that he was "lurking" around! Relationships are tough, Mom. As much as he doesn't want to be called a sea lion that for me beguile and make me want to hug them, I do have some decisions to make.

Do we live together without benefit of marriage at this point in our lives? Or do we just hang? Do I lose him if I ask him to wait for me? How long is too long? When you hit a certain age, do you shorten the courtship because we have less time remaining on the planet or do you just chuck the whole marriage notion and just live together? Oh, Mom, I wish you could call me on the can heaven not come with ice cream, spaghetti, and cell phones! What I wouldn't give for a conversation with you. I love you, Mom. Take care of your soul up there!


Photograph by Patricia Rust