In some way or another, we are all a product of our raising. Everything from our childhood, and ways our parents did or didn't participate has resulted in who we are today. Absent parents, and even helicopter parents give their kids a disadvantage in life, by setting them up for psychological issues down the road. While it stands true that we shape our kids' lives, not everything is within our control. There are some things that us moms have no part in, but we still beat ourselves up for it.
Think back to high school -- did you break your parents' rules? I know that I sure did. I try to remember and often I wonder, was there anything my parents could have done to prevent me from rebelling the way I did? Honestly, I don't think there was much they could've done. I know my mom beat herself up and thought somehow she was to blame, but that isn't the case. It was a rite of passage for me, and it helped sculpt me into the person I am today, who I am proud of. There are many times that your kids may act out, and there is little you can do.
I know the term "terrible twos" is overused, but it's for a reason. Little humans have so many emotions at the ripe age of 2 that they don't know how to handle yet, which causes chaos. You could be the most perfect mom in the world, and yet your child will still have a meltdown in the middle of Target with tons of nosy onlookers. It will happen, that is a given. How you react to it will help determine if and when it happens again.
When they break the law
Ok, let me start this by saying there will be some of you lucky parents that never have a child break the law. Good for you, seriously. We know how kids get when they are in high school and learning about the adult world out there. Where there are rules, there are teenagers bound and determined to break them. As parents it is your responsibility to educate them the best you can about juvenile crime, and the very real consequences they may face. By holding them accountable for their actions around home, you can help them understand that the court will also hold them accountable for any crimes they commit.
When they fight with their siblings
I think it must be written in our little one's DNA that they must battle to the death with their siblings. Every. Single. Day. I feel relieved that my son does not have a sibling yet, but one day down the road he will, and it will be disastrous. My parents tried their best to get me and my brother to get along, with no avail. We fought over every tiny thing, but it felt like they were huge deals at the time. Just ride it out, parents, and know that the future is brighter. My brother and I get along great now, and we get many laughs over our old battles.
When they leave the house
It has to happen, and one day it will. Although my son is still 16 years away from the day he leaves me in the dust, it still feels like it's coming too soon. It's inevitable, and I doubt we will href="http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/7405340.html" target="_hplink">never be ready for it. It doesn't mean that they are so excited to get away from you per se, but they are genuinely looking forward to their freedom. Don't worry, one day they will realize how good they had it at home, and will almost definitely wish they could go back.
While there are some things that are within your control, you shouldn't beat yourself up over things that are not. The fact that you are worrying whether or not you are a good mom means you are. Just show your children unconditional love and support, and you will be on the right track. There will always be trouble that you kid gets into that have nothing to do with your parenting. Kids will always be kids, just be sure to have an open line of communication with them. The more informed they are, the more likely they will be to make good decisions. Take a deep breath, and enjoy the chaos. One day you will have a quiet home, and you will miss the noise.