December Can Zap Our Happy, Joy, Merry and Cheery and Make Us Dread the Holidays Instead of Long for Them

December Can Zap Our Happy, Joy, Merry and Cheery and Make Us Dread the Holidays Instead of Long for Them
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

2015-12-13-1450032748-4470901-IMG_0786.JPG

Wow, can you believe it is the middle of December already? For me the Winter Solstice is the day I most look forward to. I look forward to the other holidays too; however, they still have a knack of bringing up many painful memories for me.

So, I turn my attention to prayers for peace, kindness, and blessings for all people. I take the Winter Solstice's promise that the sun will return and the days will become longer very seriously. With the abundance of stresses worldwide I, for one, yearn for the returning of the light.

Some people dread the December holidays. I know that is hard to believe unless, of course, you are one who dreads them. Pain that was numbed or ignored suddenly surfaces from the depths of emotion. Emotions like recent grief, unreconciled grief, anger, or sadness. Some people are acutely aware of the varied loss suffered in their lives and miss the people, places and pets they once shared the holidays with.

Some people are painfully detached from the spiritual significance of the holidays. Some people experience profound loneliness. December may herald feelings of depression, anxiety, and the pain of financial struggle and lack.

The darkness of each day and the darkness of separation from those they love mingle and may become dreadful.

Those that are with family may dread the inevitable conflict, fighting, over-eating, over-drinking, and drunkenness. As innocent as the memories of last year are, when some relatives get together, family strife is "lit up like a Christmas tree," a menorah, or the Solstice fire. Even the warmth of Kwanza can cause one to overheat with uncomfortable emotion.

Not the least of these dreaded events is the boredom felt by some. Some people are bored with the rituals, the same people, the same food, and singing the same old songs year after year. Whatever inspires the dread of the holidays, it usually declares itself as pain. Most of us dread pain. Believe it or not.

One of my greatest teachers about pain has recently been... my finger. (Stay with me now.) I cut my finger doing some menial housework. I ignored it, as is too often my way. I had work to do.

I put a Band-Aid on it but it still got infected. And it hurt. I was wounded for sure. The whole universe became MY finger. The pain said, "Hey look at me I need your attention. NOW!"

So, I came into the present moment. I looked at my finger. I washed it carefully, making sure to clean the infection. I put some antimicrobial salve on it and a new bandage.

Then I kissed it like I use to kiss my children's booboos.

I kissed my sore finger. I kissed my pain. It now had what it needed to heal itself. And it did a great job too. That physical pain got my attention.

Much of the pain people dread is emotional, especially around the December holidays. Emotional pain is often the experience that drives people to life coaching. They desperately seek relief from the pain and may feel helpless to figure out how to find that relief.

Life coaches can empower the innate desire for healing within each of us. This is the metaphorical way we kiss our client's soul and emotional pain. We kiss with compassion, forgiveness, and tenderness.

We support our clients to do the same for themselves and embrace their emotional wellness. When we each embrace our experience and give it a kiss, the wound can heal itself with time, nurturing, and more kisses, if need be.

When we do not hurt quite as much then maybe we can be a little bit more merry.

Schedule a private, 30-minute conversation now with Martha to discover where you are holding yourself back from living a healthy life and how life coaching, specifically Circle of Life Coaching and Fearless Living Coaching, can help you step into your power and brilliance. Click here to TalkwithMartha.

To read Martha's books on Amazon Kindle, click here.

For more by Martha Pasternack, click here.

For more on Gentle Medicine, Visit Martha at www.circleoflifecoach.com.

For more on emotional wellness, click here.

Popular in the Community

Close

HuffPost Shopping’s Best Finds

MORE IN LIFE