Have you ever gone on a date, thought it went really well, but then found yourself stumped by how he acted after the date? If your answer is yes, you are not alone. Dating is a tricky and sometimes it’s helpful to have a guide for what’s really happening.
Here are my tips for deciphering his post-date moves:
1. He texts you right away- He definitely is reacting to the chemistry of the evening. This doesn’t mean he isn’t interested. Chances are, he is interested. However, he hasn’t had time to digest the date yet. So, play it cool, flirt a little and see how he acts after a good night sleep.
2. He texts you 3 days later- He is playing it “by the rules.” A long time ago, people used to say that a guy should wait 3 days before reaching out for another date. If he waits this exact time period, perhaps he is still living by that adage. Give him the benefit of the doubt, but also take it under advisement and then see how he ramps it up once you start dating.
3. He texts you but doesn’t suggest plans- He is probably feeling a little insecure about the date or perhaps he is a little insecure in general. As a result, if you are interested, you should provide a little reassurance like a compliment or two, so he will feel comfortable asking you out again.
4. He goes back to your mutual friend who set you up to get the intel- He probably got lukewarm vibes from you on the date, so he needs reassurance from your mutual friend before he puts himself out there again with you. If you actually liked him and he is reading you incorrectly, let your friend be your advocate and let the guy know you are interested.
5. He gets in touch, but plays games and is vague- He is on the fence about you. He wants to keep you on the hook, but he’s not sure how he feels. A lot of men like to have a roster of women to choose from. If he is playing games and keeping it vague, he probably doesn’t have you in his first choice spot for now. This can always change, but you need to manage your expectations accordingly.
6. He suggests follow up plans in a group- He wants his friends’ opinion about you. You would want to believe that an adult male can decide for himself whether or not he is into you. Think again because a lot of them want the opinion of their bros. If he suggests group plans and you liked him on your date, go on the group date, but be prepared to put on a strong “dog and pony” show for his buddies.
7. He asks you about business as soon as he texts- He is not romantically interested. Most people know that it’s a no-no to talk business with someone in whom you are romantically interested. That’s not to say that you can never talk business, but if this is what he leads with, he is either a moron or chances are, he probably isn’t interested in you as a girlfriend.
8. He tells you he is no longer on the dating app where the two of you met- He likes you and he actually put his membership to The Dating Lounge app on hold or he’s a player and he is just saying this to stroke your ego. Regardless,, it’s a nice thing to say and a nice gesture, so give this one a chance.
9. He invites you to an event- He wants to see you one more time casually without the pressure of a date. Some men do better outside of the “typical” date setting. I personally think going to an event on a date is usually a bad idea, but if you liked him and he asked, you might as well go. Best case scenario, the two of you have a great time and worst case, you meet someone else.
10. He texts you for follow up plans late at night to do something spontaneously- He is interested in hooking up with you and that’s about it. Most men know that it’s impolite to text a woman late at night and spontaneously for plans. And in todays’ world, pretty much everyone knows this is code for hooking up. If you liked him, and he texted you in this way, try suggesting another time and another night and see what he says. If he blows you off, you have your answer and if he agrees, then you will be pleasantly surprised.
Samantha Daniels is a well-known Professional Matchmaker and Dating Expert as well as the founder of The Dating Lounge, the exclusive invitation-only iPhone dating app for upscale people looking for real relationships. You can follow her on Twitter @Matchmakersd and IG: @samanthadanielsdatinglounge.
For more information, go to www.SamanthaDaniels.info or www.thedatinglounge.net
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