Defined by Ego

Defined by Ego
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My whole life I've defined myself through the roles I've had -- the academic, the girlfriend, the party girl... As long as I had a role to fit within, I would have an understanding of my sense of "self".

The role that felt the most empowering of all was the fast paced, over-achiever. The woman climbing the corporate ladder, with a fancy title and a high salary that afforded nice material things.

That role gave me a lot of validation and was a large part of my identity. That is, until recently. A month ago the company I worked for told me that they were downsizing and relocating, and within two weeks, my title and salary would be gone. Little did I know my sense of identity would go right along with it, only to be replaced by a conflicted relationship with my ego.

I spent the last 15 years of my life focused on achieving the things that society defined as successful. Thus, not having that role to hide behind has been a challenge to my sense of self. However, I am learning that I'm no less or more of a person because of "what I do", and that my job does not equate to "who I am".

I realize that true success stretches far beyond the professional realm. Your values, the way you treat others and make them feel, your contribution to society, your relationships -- these are all factors that define a person. Here is a quote that sums it up nicely:

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

The next chapter for me is about personal growth. Sure, I'll probably make another move in my career, but I'm going to stop having that role become me and define me. While it's definitely going to be an evolutionary process, I'm excited for the journey.

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