Food & Drink

These Are Winter's Most Disappointing Food Moments

We're all trying to make the best of winter, but these moments are MAJOR setbacks.
12/01/2014 07:00am ET | Updated December 5, 2014

There's nothing worse than getting overly excited about a hot chocolate only to burn your tongue upon first sip, because you just couldn't wait long enough for it to cool down or because some stupid person made the milk too hot. Your taste buds go into shock and then nothing tastes the same for days. The only thing worse than burning your tongue on a hot chocolate is if that hot chocolate was made with water instead of milk. Watery hot chocolate is a crime. Of course it was going to burn you.

Hi, winter. We missed you. These are the classic hardships that befall us every time the temperature starts to drop and we get excited about hunkering down and settling into the season. We love winter for the amazing comfort food, slow cooker recipes and hearty soups, to say nothing of the zesty, uplifting citrus fruits, like blood oranges and grapefruits, that brighten up our darkest winter moments. And, of course, hello clementines! Winter is full of great food and food moments, but at the end of the short day, it's still winter. It's still cold, and grey and however great that root vegetable hash is, we'd still rather be eating a fresh tomato with a side of corn, or munching on freshly picked blueberries while our fresh peach and blackberry pie cools. We make the most of winter, but it can hardly live up to the other seasons when it comes to fresh produce, outdoor cooking and general mood levels. For this reason, when we're trying to make the best of the winter months, bad food luck really gets us down. A burnt tongue may not be so bad, but on top of the fact that it's winter outside, it feels a whole lot worse.

We know you've been there too, so let's all take a moment to commiserate and acknowledge winter's most disappointing food moments. Here's hoping that we can all avoid them at all costs this year.

1
A Clementine Full Of Seeds
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Clementines are one of the foods we look forward to most each winter. They can quickly turn from a dream fruit into a nightmare, however, if they have too many seeds. Clementines are supposed to be seedless, so if you peel one open to find a thousand seeds, you've probably been duped; you're most likely eating some clementine impostor like a tangerine. UGH. So not only does it suck that you have to navigate all the tiny seeds, but it also sucks that you've been lied to.
2
A DRY Clementine
Melanie Hutchinson/Flickr
This might even be worse than a seed-filled clementine. Just thinking about crackly pith and dehydrated sections makes our mouths itch.
3
Chili WIth Fake Meat
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We're all in favor of going meatless -- but please spare us the fake meat. If you're going to make vegetarian chili this winter, get your protein from beans and not the fake stuff. That's all we ask.
4
Endless Root Vegetables In The CSA
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We love root vegetables, but if you've ever belonged to a CSA in the winter, you know the feeling of unidentifiable root vegetable after unidentifiable root vegetable piling up in your cupboard... There's only so many times you can make mashed rutabaga.
5
A Mealy Apple
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It's enough to turn us off apples forever. It may sound dramatic, but if you've ever bitten into an apple expecting to crunch down on something crisp and refreshing only to find your teeth pushing through apple mush, you would agree: the power of the mealy apple is strong.
6
Dry Gingerbread
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God help us.
7
When You Burn Your Tongue On Hot Soup
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There's nothing worse than singeing your tongue on hot soup or a hot drink, and then not being able to taste anything for days on end. It's torture, and it just feels weird too.
8
A Sour Orange
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If you had wanted to pucker up like you just bit into a lemon, YOU WOULD HAVE JUST HAD A LEMON.
9
Watery Hot Chocolate
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You hate yourself if you're making hot chocolate with water. Don't hate yourself. Make it with milk next time.
10
Tomatoes, In General
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Tomatoes should not be consumed in the winter unless they come from a can and are going into a sauce. Period.
11
A Pomegranate That Has Died On The Inside
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RIP
12
Christmas Cookies That Will Break A Tooth
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It's the worst when the person who has given you the cookies proceeds to watch you eat them too. What can you say? Nothing, really, because you've just chipped a tooth.
13
A Fruitless Quest For A Ripe Pear
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You just can't find them in the super market, so you resign to taking rock hard pears home, and hoping they ripen in a paper bag. Then they immediately brown and maybe even turn rotten inside before you open the bag up again. It's hopeless. Pears, we love you, but you're just too much work.

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