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Divine Weeping

All I can do is contain all things and be all things whilst praying for those who I think have lost their way. What more can I wish for and who knows for how long it will last, this divine weeping that has taken over my mind and entered deep into my soul.
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'I walk along the shore and the water laps gently at my feet. Great sobs wrench at my being but these are not tears that are shed for pain. This is divine weeping...a sense that I am part of everything and yet walking alone, my footprints washed away by the foam.'
The insert that I had just written in my journal touched me. I could still taste the salt, smell the soft scent of pine trees and hear the rush of the ocean. I had the feeling of water running down my body and I was submerged in a feeling of bliss I knew could not last forever. It became important though to capture it, because for the first time in my life, I saw myself kneeling on the Earth crying - singing sacred songs and holding the Earth to me, as though it were an infant in need of solace - my very own self. What made the most impression on me was the feeling that we were all here - waiting to discover Truth - or rather waiting for Truth to discover us. There may be only one truth but many facets of it emerge and we are privy to watch scenarios unfold around each facet. We can never know the truth in its entirety though, as it is way beyond physical form.
I saw each and every person on the planet fighting for some kind of right they believed in. In the midst of this revelation I saw myself unable to judge but only to accept, and my divine weeping intensified. All I could do was to weep sacred tears and to laugh sacred smiles and to walk holding my head high and to stand up for those who do not have a voice because I have a voice. I can pray they do not suffer but perhaps in praying their pain away, I pray their wisdom away too.
I returned to my journal.
'There are many ways that lead to the exaltation of the soul but one of the most precious is becoming attentive to the self and what the self feels and understands to be true. It is the nurturing of pain that is born, jealously and fear. It is the embrace given to the murderer within and the one without, because he simply represents me in one of the many possible stages in life. Becoming responsible for myself I become a responsible global citizen ready to hold something which is beyond words in my heart. It is not light. I don't even know if it can be called love. In fact I know I do not want to name it at all - I want to go beyond names and the desire to explain something over and over again; to squeeze the life force out of something in order to make myself understood. Why is it so important to have others understand me or agree with me or even support me? If I cannot support myself and if I cannot feel grateful for myself then I am nothing. This self is not mine in any case. It has been given to me - It is something I inherited and therefore I need to nurture it. It is something I would very much like to explore, and soothe until all the shadows that cry out for revenge are transformed and instead become a still lake. That is all that matters and I long to wipe away the diamonds of all those who are unable to see.'
Slowly I become the diamond I so long to share and cherish; Slowly I become the tree that I so long to climb; I become the fragrant flowers and the still Earth and when I look back I see what I have left behind me. There is no need to possess anything any longer; the people that I once hurt have been lain to rest and are no longer in my vision. All that I am left with is my very own self, naked as it is, without anything at all apart from its authentic nature which is in the making, and has reached a level which in itself is confusing. That is all I am; a whisper in the breeze; a tear on my pillow, a drop in the ocean and a ray of sunlight that dances on the porch, ready to catch me when I fall. I live all lives simultaneously, regaining experiences I may once have had; I pay homage to those who have come before me and above all, I slowly learn what it means to honor life and not death.
This time nothing is separate and nothing is mine at all. All I can do is contain all things and be all things whilst praying for those who I think have lost their way. What more can I wish for and who knows for how long it will last, this divine weeping that has taken over my mind and entered deep into my soul.