I'll be chronicling my new life as I go through the divorce process and I hope you'll follow my journey. If you're looking for me to bash my ex, that won't happen. But if you're looking for a woman and mom excited for a new life, if you find it interesting to read about the roller coaster of emotions and all of the things that come with starting over... then join me here
As soon as I told people about my divorce,. they asked me how I feel about being a single mom. All I could think about was how I am not a single mom. So please don't call me that.
My husband is moving out in the next few weeks. I will be living alone with my two boys half of every month. But do not call me a single mom.
When the boys are with me I will be the only adult in my household. I will be tucking my boys into bed alone at night. I will be the only parent to deal with them when they don't want to do their homework or go to bed. I will be the one who will have to get up with them in the middle of the night (not my strong point!)
I will be making their breakfast all by myself in the morning, in between my shower and getting ready for work. I will be shuttling both of them to two different schools.
I will be arranging their lives and hectic schedules and coordinating it all. But I have done a lot of this for all of their lives anyway. My soon to be ex has done a lot also. Now my days of tag-team parenting under one roof will be gone. But I will not be a single mom.
I may be a divorced mom, an available mom, a co-parenting mom, a formerly married mom --but certainly not a single mom.
I will also be a mom with a lot to learn. I've been spoiled with years of split duties. I've been used to calling out for help when I need it, or when I'm just plain old lazy. There will be no one else to shut all of the lights, no one else to put on the TV when the buttons fail me (except hopefully my kids), no one else to put on the Wii because I didn't want to learn, no one else to put new ink in my printer, no one else to get up with the kids when I want to sleep and no one to watch the kids when I want to go to the gym.
I will have to learn to become completely self-sufficient. And you know what? It excites me. I should never have fallen into the "all too easy" needy routine. I don't want to have to rely on anyone to do anything when there's no reason I can't do it myself.
My kids will learn from my mistakes. My kids will see first hand parents that really can do it all.
My kids will still have a father, and they will spend as much time with their father as they do with me. And when they are with him, he too won't be a single dad.
So don't call me a single mom. It's insulting to my ex and it's insulting to all of the parents who truly are single without a second parent in the picture.
I am not a single mom. I may be separated or divorced, but those both sound so negative. I'm fine with available mom, co-parenting mom and even unmarried, unattached or formerly married mom (FMM). That is what I am.