I'll be chronicling my new life as I go through the divorce process and I hope you'll follow my journey. If you're looking for me to bash my ex, that won't happen. But if you're looking for a woman and mom excited for a new life, if you find it interesting to read about the roller coaster of emotions and all of the things that come with starting over... then join me here
For a life that has completely changed, most days don't seem so different. It's now been almost three months since I've been living as a "formerly married mom".
Immediately I knew it was the right decision for both of us. Our kids have adjusted perfectly and we have tried to find the balance between friendship and caring co-parents. So far, it seems to be working.
My days are centered around my kids and my work.
But there are differences in the details. Matters arise daily, and every day I seem to feel unprepared for the challenges, decisions and situations I couldn't have predicted. I find myself thinking about things as "B.S." and "A.S." (Before Separation and After Separation). And with those thoughts comes evolution.
My first encounter with this evolution came when I was traveling for work. In the past, as a married mom, I had certain rituals. For starters, my husband was the keeper of my flight information. He was my emergency contact. Each time my plane was about to take off, without fail, I would text him, "shutting down, love you and the boys". Now I'm in this awkward phase of in between. Who should I send my flight info to? As the father of my kids, should he still be my flight keeper and my last text? So I texted. "Shutting down. Love to the boys".
A few weeks later, he too must have had an evolution moment of B.S to A.S. In the midst of a conversation about the kids, he told me, "I put you down as my emergency contact at the doctor."
I'm also spending time on things I never wanted to deal with. Why couldn't the refrigerator have broken B.S? And how is it that the printer doesn't work A.S? And why does it seem like my kids used to clean up their toys?
The evolution is still new. But it seems to be working. In a time when there's so much negativity surrounding change and differences, I can proudly say going from B.S to A.S can be a positive evolution if you make it one. But I've found that there's so much we hadn't thought of. There are many unexpected situations that arise and that's ok. I look forward to daily surprises knowing that I can deal with them with a smile -- knowing that divorce isn't a curse but a new lease on life. I'm exited for the continuing evolution, even if it means I have to become handier around the house, or keep my kids' dad and my mom as my lifeline.